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PENN 



OR THE 



SWORD 



*i*|f» * lrt l rtrtrtM » J l*» * *»* ai * ****** ** * * 



Ip enn or tt)e Sword, 



A COMEDY DRAMA IN FOUR ACTS. 
By THEorniL Staxg^b. 



«^5 «^B «^S <,^5 <<^* 



Ann Arbor, Mich. 
Cornish Printing Co., 115 W. Huron St. 
1913. 



i i 



COPYRIGHT. 1913, 

IT 

Theophil Stanger. 



©C1.D 32132 



PERSONS. 



Friend Daniel Von Dora — Wealthy Quaker, 
Hester — His Daughter. 



Robert Paul — Young surveyor. Captain in the Pennsylvania- 

Line. 
Demosthenes Culp< per — Cobbler and patriot spy. 
Tobias Lowerman — Young merchant, Tory, and sham Quaker. 
Felicity (nicknamed Listie) Bogle — Cousin and companion of 

Hester. 

Jokel Fledermaus — Hessian deserter and enthusiast for "lip- 

perty. ' ' 
Bartholomew Huxley — Hunter and scout. 
Friend Jonathan Speer — Quaker blacksmith and cannonier. 
Hope Speer — His wife, sister of Listie. 
Kurt Huber, 

Hans Roggerif elder, (."Pennsylvania Dutch" citizens and 
Pete Vonderbalt, j farmers. 

Anton Stoffel, 

Nancy Maelay — Irish affinity of Fledermaus. 
Lieutenant Ross, ) _ „ , _ , 

Sergeant Hicks, 1 0fficers of Howe s arm ^ 

Colonel Fiske, »^„ e n .. 

Major Simmons, i 0fficers ot Continental army. 

Sister Judith Elder — Moravian nurse. 
Benjamin Keller — Moravian physician. 
Nina — Hester's colored maid. 

Prison Warden, Turnkeys, Sentinels, Sheriff, Soldiers and 
Citizens. 



ACT [. 
Time — Summer of 1777. 
Scene — Von Porn Manor — Mansion in background. . .Porch 
supported by massive colonnade in front; ivide doors open 
into long hall way, affording view into dining halt at rear. 
Garden, shaded by various Irccs and ornanu ntt d with shrubs 
and flowerbeds, extends to a road at front. Several shell 
paths radiate from stone stainyay at front of porch to gar- 
den entrances at wings: two from rear of house lead to 
orchard U. L. and stables U. R — Merrymaking multitude 
seen at tables in dining-room, on porch and in garden. — 
Discovered R. F. Culpeper and Huxley. 
Gulp. — Bartholomew Huxley, your snuff-box, your snuff-box, 
if you please. We are about to partake of a wedding-feast, but 
I declare my nose is famished for a pinch. 

TLux. — 1 can accommodate you. Demosthenes Culpeper. — 
Presto! {pinching C.'s nose). 
. Culp.— Villain !— Assassin ! 

Jinx. — This for thy pain (handing him snuff-box). 
Culp. — Thanks, in spite of thy villainy (helping himself lib- 
erally.) "No gains without pains," says Poor Richard, but he 
needs not a boor like you to verify his saws. 

Hux. — Nor needs Doctor Franklin your chronic walking; 
exponentship. — Look here, self-appointed ape of a sage (glancing 
at squat form of Culpeper with grin) methinks a term of enlist- 
ment in the Continental army would make a hero of you ! You'd 
stop as many bullets as half a major general ! 

Culp. — Tut, tut! — Says not the same wise man: '"There 
never was a good war or a bad peace?" 

Hux. — Your same wise Franklin, now engineering the bad 
war that's to bring about the good peace ! Aye, his fame is grow- 
ing fat on it. 'Tis said his face is as familiar and nigh as popu- 
lar in France as the face of the moon! — Bah! (bluntly). Buy 
a gun! 

Culp. — Tut, tut again! — "What! a butcher! a gladiator!— 
Remember, we are entering the mansion of a peaee-loving and 
abiding Quaker. 

Hux. — "Who believes in the maxim that William Penn is 
mightier than the sword! 

Culp. — Ah, a true proverb and well improved ou by a wood- 
ehuck-hunter ! By the way, Huxley, what think you of this 
twelve-witness, preaeherless Quaker wedding of Von Dorn's 



niece and my neighbor, Speer, to which the old man consents this 
day? 

Hux. — What think I? — Ask a backwoods hunter! — I once 
had a mind to marry a squaw, and there had been less ceremony. 

Culp. — Tush ! I shake my old head at it. 'Tis much like 
a trial by jury without the judge; furthermore these war-times 
be unfit times to marry and give in marriage. But mark, here 
comes Yon Dorn himself with his daughter, and there appears 
nothing apologetic <iix>ut his person. If 't were not for his Quaker 
drab, I'd make him out a duke, an archduke, an earl, and do 
him homage, though J say: a tig for the rest of the peers! 

(Enter from porch into garden Von Dorn, Hester, Lower- 
man, Speer and Hope (the bride and groom) and Several guests.) 

Von D. — Come, Hester, my lamb, come friends, a walk in the 
garden this summer day will profit more than diversion indoors. 
— Ah, welcome good neighbors, Huxley and Culpeper! Come, 
greet Friend Speer and Hope, my little niece, today become his 
wife. 

Culp (to Speer). — All happiness to you, and may this war 
never disturb the peace of your new home. 

Speer. — Friend Culpeper, the cannon will not be heard in 
Philadelphia. 

Hope. — My husband has made Quaker guns of basswood, 
to order. — They'll not disturb our tranquility! 

Hux. — Not they, madam. 

Von D. (to Huxl.s and Cidp.) — We have made room 
at the tables. Walk in, the boards are set against a possible 
foraging regiment of Continentals ! 

Hux. — Thanks. Mr. Von Dorn.. We know what awaits us; 
since we've been your guests ere this. 

(Von D. passes on to L. with guests.) 

Culp. — Indeed, indeed! (rubbing his stomach). 0, Mr. Von 
Dorn ! 

Von D. (pausing) — Well, friend Culpeper? 

Culp. — You may have heard I'm a great admirer of Dr. 
Franklin. AVould you object to my quoting him in the presence 
of yourself and company? 

Von D. — Thou mayest quote him or any other good man, 
friend Culpeper. 

Culp. — Then, in the words of Poor Richard : "If you would 
have your business done, go! If not, send!" — In this case, even 
without Doctor Franklin's advice, I refuse to send! I go! 

(The remark evokes a laugh from the guests and a smile 
from the grave Quaker. The hunter slaps the cobbler on the 
shoulder and the two enter house. Von D. leads guests about 
among shrubbery and flowerbeds.) 

Von D. — Ye:;, thou art right, Friend Speer: The old world 
and the new are represented in our flowerbeds, as in the bouquet 



of thy little bride. Indeed, we have selected the. best European 
and domestic plants and have set them in the same soil, just as, 
in our institutions, we have adopted the best that, the freedom 
of a new country affords us, but have not discarded the best we 
inherited from our European forefathers. 

Speer. — Have there chanced any European weeds with the 
plants? 

Von D. — Aye, and some difficult to exterminate, as have 
been our evils of state. But come with me, and I shall show you 
the rarest blossom of all, imported from the antipodes. 

(Exeunt U. L. Von D. and the rest, except Hester and Low- 
er man. Latter has been paying marked attention to Hest.) 

Low. (gazing admiringly at Hester). — Yet I swear there is 
one American flower that would beggar all the royal" - gardens of 
Louis XVI. 

Hest. — Tobias Lowerman, thou art but a half converted 
Quaker. Thou hast not yet learned the simple "yea" and 
"nay." 

Low. — Forgive me, Hester, for it is thou whom 1 have in 
mind and for whom I have offended. i 

Hest. — T reprove thee as a flatterer, even while I forgive 
thee, Tobias. Friend Jonathan Speer hath today taken the most 
comely of the maids, my cousin, Hope, in marriage. 

Low. — Nay, I swear — 

Hest. — Thou swearest not! I see thou art si ill sorely in 
need of a tutor. Remember, Tobias — simply ' ' yea ' ' and ' ' nay ' ' ! 

(Enter from corridor Listie Bogle.) 

List. — Hester, Hester! — I have company Tor thee, just 
arrived ahorse From -Jersey. Divine who it is! Nay. here he is 
all himself ! 

(Enter from house Robert Paid in uniform, of captain of 
the Pennsylvania Liar.) 

Hest. — Robert Paul! — I half expected thee, yet had no rea- 
son to think thou wert in the state. 

Robt. — General Wayne has detailed me on special duty here, 
and I'm happy to see you all again. Friend Lowerman, prithee 
no offence. This costume, I know, is not to your fancy (turning 
to Hester) nor appropriate at a Quaker wedding (to Low.) but 
you will agree that an honest man should appear in his true col- 
ors, especially among those most easily imposed on, his nearest, 
friends. 

Low. (with ill-concealed displeasure) — Well and truly said, 
friend Robert. The unconventional rebels against the king must 
show a bold front while still they may. To me, since my con- 
version to Quakerism and the philosophy of non-resistance, 
neither your color nor the British red have any particular charm. 

Hest. — Yet it dresseth thee well, Robert, the buff and blue 
of thy captain's raiment. — It even suggests the nickname of thy 



general, Dandy Wayne! But I would, times were different and 
thou badst come to us as before, in the garments of peace. 

Robt. — You repeat the wish of my own heart. The time of 
war is the day of the beast, when man despairs of reason and 
reverts to tooth and claw. I am a soldier from choice indeed, 
but not from inclination — from choice only because every man 
of my convictions must, today, be a soldier. 

Hest. — No excuses to non-combatants! Listie here hath but 
of late made a complete officer's uniform, one of vast size, and 
hath it suspended in her room, and she must even have master 
Heppner paint a likeness of it! 

Low. — A pretty occupation for a Quaker maid! — To what 
purpose such vanity? 

List. — All vanity and no purpose! (laughing.) Of course 
'tis for some tall American officer, who will walk away with, it 
and report to me when the war is successfully over. But he shall 
be of the gentle kind: a brilliant long range) fighter and reason- 
ably sure returner! 

Robt. — And to think I've already been fitted! 

List. — To know Hester's politics, ye ought have beheld our 
parliamentary scene, entitled "British Benevolence." 

Hest.— Listie, thou shouldst not talk out of school. 

List. — Tit for tat! — Author and directress even this demure 
Quaker maid, Hester Von Dorn. The solemn session enacted in 
the library. Our wigs of flax and batting, and all other costumes 
and properties in keeping. — Hester represents Sir Wm. Pitt and 
1 Sir Charles Fox. The bronze bulldog is the King and the rest 
of the girls must be the ministry. The "dear" American colo- 
nies impersonated by Hester's black maid, Nina.. — One of the 
"benevolent" decisions of the ministry, in spite of Pitt and Fox, 
was that "dear" Nina should, for her own good, have her wool, 
nose and ears clipped, — 

Robt.— Oh! 

List. — But she protested and scratched, and it was decided 
that for the present but one lock be clipped, but that parliament 
reserve the right to clip her hair, nose and ears, tie her hand 
and foot and draw any number of her teeth at any time what- 
soever ! 

Low. — O horrors! 

Robt. — (Applauding.) A clever allegory! 

Low. — High treason, my ladies! 'Tis the rebel spirit, the 
rebel spirit that possesseth us all. — If ye Quaker maids be thus 
recreant, where will the rest! of us soon be ! 

Robt. — Friend Lowerman, now is the time! — Hester, I have 
a word from my general to your father. 

Hest. — I am his aide-de-camp. On to head-quarters! For- 
ward, march ! — Tobias Listie, fall in ! 

Low. — t see I am compelled, or be courtmartialed ! Hester, 



Hester, 3 must reprove thee! 

(Exeunt TJ. L. — Guests have been gathering on lawn in hack- 
ground, among them Yonderbalt, Huber, Stoffel, and Roggen- 
f elder.) 

Rog. — Diss iss der craziest Quaker vedding vat i neffer saw 
in Permsylvanee. In der good old times py oont py it used to be 
von! loff feast, but now, so soon like effrybody got his turkey 
ehoked down his troat, dey iss talking var, var, var oont such 
dinks, till der air iss plue mit smoke. I dell you, tshentlemens, I 
am not mit diss var in fafer. Dot only adfantage mit a var iss 
der high brice of bork oont peans, oont vat goot iss to a man 
money oont golt, ven he in his system a loat of let oont bullets 
gets? Tshentlemens, I leaf it to your tsliutshment, reason, batrir 
odism, morality oont digestion iff it iss in such a foolish beezness 
any brofit ! 

Stof. — Don't get such a excitement, Hans Roggenf elder t 
Oont besides, you are shtepping mit your feets on der Shaker's 
flower-bet! Shame yourself! Get off oont come off, oond come 
to your senses, iff you got any. 

Roq. — Veil, I didn't mean to shtep on no bi*oberty ver I 
don't got no mortgage on it, but I dells you, tshentlemens, shtop 
reading dose Tshairman oont English reppel papers oont listen- 
ing to der atshitators vat aind old enough to shmoke a pipe or 
raise viskers. Bubbles, bubbles, rubbish oont monkeyshines ! — 
I am for der King's autority oont continued brosberity! 

Vonderb. — Now you sait it, Hans. Dis var is a outrage 
against respectability. Before you know it, der reppels vil dik 
trenches oont prestvorks across der roads vat I haff bilt, oont der 
cake vill be all pie again, as der Englishmen say. I dells you 
it's a outrachious disturbance of enderbrize. (Flourish of bugle 
heard.) Toot — toot! dere dey go again. — Some bull-calf iss trill- 
ing der militia. 

Hub. — Look here, Hans and Pete, don't think for a moment 
that you're the mouth-piece of all of us. — My Palatine fathers 
came, as you did, from across the sea, where the rabble shout 
the glory of England, the glory of France, the glory of German 
kingdoms, and know not that they glorify thrones and drones, 
mistresses, toad-eaters and slave-drivers behind them. They 
were hounded to this countiy by benevolent princes boasting 
divine right to control men and commerce. If we, the heirs to 
their grievances, fail to make a last stand for free citizenship 
here, what breed of cattle are we ! — Go help the King's landlords, 
and you'll soon be digging their potatoes, and there'll be no 
more business to disturb! (Flourish of bugle again). There 
goes the bugle. Come on, line up ye merchants, bush-whackers, 
clod-hoppers, coon-skinners, hog-stickers, and ox-tail twisters; 
come on old vulgus, irresponsible riff-raff, and join the militia in 
the drill. If you can't handle a flint-lock, go home and to bed! 



Stof. — You gift! der commando, oont ve follow mit you. 

{Exeunt all, some of them wrangling as they go. — Re-enter 
Von I)., Hest., Robt,., Paul, Low, and others.) 

Yoii I). — Robert, my boy, 1 half suspected thou hadst come 
to kill us all at the least, since 1 heard thou hadst accepted a 
commission and sword! — What news from Middlebrook ? 

Robt. — Your friend. General Wayne, is still offering you a 
colonel's commission in the Pennsylvania Line. He to be the 
Joshua and you the Moses of the nest campaign! 

Von I). — Tell friend Wayne, the boaster and tighter, I thank 
him for the compliment, but have more need of him and thee to 
complete the survey of my lands; also the quality of leather in 
these parts hath sadly deteriorated since he abandoned his 
tannery ! 

lies/. — Bring him my gratitude for procuring thy commis- 
sion, Robert, but also my regret for his depriving us of thy 
company. 

Robt.- — T thank you, Hester! 

Von D. {to Hester.) — My child, I have been tempted to go 
myself — nay, be not alarmed, I shall not accept friend Wayne's 
offer! — Thou knowest, Robert, I'm not considered the most 
rigid among the Friends and have been much censured by breth- 
ren; yet for me the commandment. "Thou shalt not kill" is 
supreme, and may 1 never be provoked to violate it! — We 
Friends have not forgotten the tyranny of church and state in 
England, and none have protested more earnestly against oppres- 
sion here, but we've not yet despaired of the force of argument, 
while ye now resort entirely to the argument of force. 

Low. — To their own ultimate undoing. 

Von I). — I hope not — yet 1 am pleased to see thee, Friend 
Tobias, with us among 'the non-combatants, as I regret that our 
friend, Robert, and his general have exchanged the surveyor's 
compass for the sword. 

Robt. — Not entirely. — I've but today used the old instru- 
ment. There's a suspicion Philadelphia will soon be the storm- 
centre of military operations, and I've been detailed with a 
squad to survey, contract for provisions and recruit men. — 1 have 
a requisition to you, sir, from Washington for fifty head of cattle 
for the army. 

Low. {hastily.) — Friend Daniel will never so rashly invite 
British displeasure ! 

Von D. — Calm thyself, friend Tobias. I'm not so solicit- 
ous of my health as thou thinkest. {To Robt.) I shall deliver 
the fifty head of cattle on demand at market price and accept in 
payment thereof the Continental notes of Congress. 

Robt. — I never doubted it, nor did Wayne. 

Low. {in great agitation) — Thou hast lost every hoof and 
horn! The depreciatedContir.eutal notes will be waste paper six 



10 

months hence! — And consider the credit, the very existence of 
our firm. 

Yon D. — I can but hope it may thus be best sustained, and 
can but make manifest where I would be, would I consent to bear 
anus. 

Low. — We may as well hang our Quaker mats and coats on 
the trees and buy uniforms. I fear thou wilt propose to charter 
our incoming ships to American privateers. 

Von D. — Verily I have such a. proposition made me, and 
even thou wilt find it profitable. — May I ask thy presence at the 
counting room, for 'tis an urgent matter. (Turning to the rest.) 
Friends, with your permission. (Turns to lead off.) 

Low. — It will never do, it will never do! 
i Robt. — Happy consummation, gentlemen! 
(Exeunt Von D. and Loir. 

Hest. — I'm grateful that Father was not equivocal in this 
matter. 

RoM. — As calmly courageous a patriot as his young asso- 
ciate is — the opposite. 

Rest. — Hush, thou dost judge Tobias too harshly. He believ- 
eth, as we, that with the Quaker method the Redcoat could be 
pacified as was the Redskin. He hath vast wealth of his own 
inhehitance at stake and believeth it sale in the King's keeping. 
And, believe me, he is far more, solicitous of the safety of our 
estate and person than of his own. 

Robt. — I would revere him for that. — As to keeping peace 
with the Redcoats — Hester, have you ever handled a weapon 
(Draws his sword. ) 

Hest. — Never ; yet 1 should not fear it. 

Robt. (handing her the sword) — What think you of the 
inscription on the blade? 

Hest. (reading) — "Peace be with you!"— 'Tis an odd 
inscription for an instrument of war 

Robt. — The words have been chanted by men sincere and 
by hypocrites for centuries, and wars have gone on. My grand- 
mother, who presented this to her cavalier, my grandfather, still 
believed this to be the only pacifier, and that force tyrannical 
must be met with force rebellious. Until popular rule and legis- 
lation obviate war, I and many other men must, in a crisis, 
accept grandmother's views. 

Hest. — 1 must respect them in thee, Robert, and I know 
thou wilt do honor to them. 

Robt. (thoughtfully) — Honor? — War is pomp, treachery, 
indiscriminate manslaughter. What a vile spectacle 'twould be 
without a worthy cause! Therefore have many British officers 
resigned their commissions, knowing the cause is ours. Let ua 
not speak of the honor of the course and method but the honor 
of the cause. — Hester, if ever I desert the cause, may you and 



11 

all my countrymen despise me ! And to be despised by you, 
would be perdition, for — this crisis makes me bold to tell you — ■ 
all my heart and soul loves you, loves you, Hester ! 

Rest, (shrinking from him, yet kindly) — Friend Robert! 
Ever since thou earnest from Nova Scotia with friend Wayne, 
we have been good comrades and of an understanding in studies 
and interests. Oft I've trembled, lest, this comradeship be dis- 
turbed, for I've been very happy in it. Now I beg of thee, if 
thou hast regard for our happiness, cast this thought out of 
thy heart and never repeat what thou hast said. 

Robt. — Hester, Hester! — For what reason? Do you not 
love me? 

Hest. — Let this answer suffiice thee. I'm not at liberty to 
give thee another. 

Robt. — Is it Tobias Lowerman, the Tory? 
Hest. — Friend Robert ! — I have no guardian but my father. 
(Turns to go.) 

Robt. — Your pardon ! — But do not dismiss me in" this way ! — 
Hest. — God keep thee to thy word and honor, and preserve 
thee to us. It's the only word a Quaker maid may give thee along 
to the war. 

Robt.— Hester ! 

Hest. — Robert! — Come back to thy friends! (Escapes into 
house.) 

Robt. (moodily)— Or die. and if so, how miserably without 
the assurance of your love ! 

(Re-enter Huxl. and Culp.) 
Huxl. — Captain Paul ! 

Robt. (starting) — Well, Huxley, — whom have we 'here? 
(regarding the cobbler with interest.) 

Huxl. — A man more prudent than he appears; a crafty 
craftsman; not an expert with weapons nor a fancier of their 
use, but lacking neither in wit nor patriotism. I have won him 
for the special work between cups of the good Quaker's beer. 
For the immediate future, leave him to me. 

Culp. — And to my own resources, sir, if you please. At your 
service, Captain Paul. Mayhap I appear dull as a cobbler's ham- 
mer, but mind you, I'm an expert with punch and needle! — I 
shall, figuratively speaking, provide aggressive toes for the 
patriots and retrogressive heels for the Redcoats, and the lobsters 
shall take to their heels as a duck takes to water. — His Majesty's 
troops shall not raise hell in Philadelphia with impunity; for 
as Dr. Franklin says — 

Huxl. — Stop right there! — You may ride that hobby of 
yours when' it becomes of service to Congress. 

Robt. — 1 trust to your discretion, Huxley. — Received your 
message today. — You have the code like the A-B-C. — Any more 
recruits ? 



12 

Huxl. — A Hessian deserter asked to see you this minute. 
I see he has stalked us. — This way, Jokel ! 

(Enter L. Jokel Fledermaus in improvised uniform., a 
bugle suspended at his side.) 

Fled. — Ah! lss diss der recruiting officer, Captain Paul? 

Bobt. — If I recollect! — And your name, my friend 

Fled.— Jokel Fledermaus. 

Culp. — In Dutch that means a bat, but this candidate sug- 
gests the nightingale. 

Robt. — You are a deserter from tbe Hessian army? 

Fled. — Dot's me! 

Robt. — Did you ever kill an American? 

Fled. — I haft' shoot mit mine gun in der pattle, but I haft: 
neffer a reppel killed ven I know it. 

Robt. — Why did you come to this country to fight us? 

Fled. — Vy doss a dok follow you ven you pulls him mit a 
chain by der neck oont kicks him by der odder end of der dok? 

Robt.— Well said! 

Culp. — Bully, Mr. Bat! You've been vampirised. 

Robt. [laughing) — No doubt, more than we. — But do you 
know of our grievances over here? 

Fled. — What for dings is dot? 

Roll — For instance, do 3*011 know the meaning of ''taxation 
without representation ? ' ' 

Fled. — I haff suffer in Europe mit taxation, but not mit dat 
odder dings — vat you call him? 

Robt. — I don't think you have! — Do you know about the 
English Navigation Acts, the Stamp Act, the Townsend Act? 

Fled. — Nix, nix! 1 don't go to no teater by der actors. 

Robt. — Have you heard of the Boston Tea Party? 

Fled. — I should haff refused der invitation! Giff me mine 
beer oont you kin haff der tea ! 

Robt- — Well then, do you know at all for what we are fight- 
ing? 

Fled, (with ardor) — For vat you iss fighting! — You iss 
lighting for der lipperty of yourself oont your vimens oont ehil- 
drens, mit der crowned pirates vat iss in England. Tshurmany 
oont all ofer Europe. — I voult more sooner go in Halifax by der 
deibel den back to serf der prince vot sold us by der piece to go 
mit der var in America. 

Robt. — So you are willing to enlist with us? 

Fled. — Ya, mein Herr! — Donnervetter ! — Mit Yashington, 
vat played Santa Claus for mine countrymen by Trenton on der 
riffer! (laughing heartily.) 

Robt. — 1 imagine you can blow a bugle. 

Fled. — You kin ax Tsheneral Kniphausen, oont he will dells 
you wo voss best pugler in dor l-oyal army — dot's me, Jokel Fle- 
dermaus! Oont for lipperty — ach, how I vill plow mineself ret, 



13 

vite oont pine in der face for lipperty! (Bloivs flourish., 

Robt. — Report to me at my quarters at the Elks Tavern 
tomorrow. 

(Enter L. Nancy Maclay.) 

Nan. — O Jokel, Jokel, you flying Dutchman, I thought I'd 
never find you! They want you to play at the Governor's ball 
tonight, and I'm to bake the waffles! 

Fled. — Aeh Nency! Exeoose mo, tshentlemens — 

Huxl. — Do you need any singers? 

Gulp. — He has a voice like an Iroquois buck, and I can blow 
my nose. 

Fled. — Dot's plenty — Tshentlemens, exoose me, diss iss mine 
particular friend, Mademoiselle Nency Macley. (Nancy curtseys 
to their profound bows.) 

Robt. — La Petite Mademoiselle is from Prance? 

Nanc. — Divil a bit o' such! — 

Robt. — A very beautiful island, thank you ! 

Fled. — Her grand Ladder voss a Corkshtopper. — Neney. I 
haft' goot news. I vill enlist mineself ! 

Nan. — And leave me"? — Jokel, how can you! (Weeps.) 
You'll come back shot! 

Fled. — Fiddlesticks! I'm used to coming back shot, so 
blease forgot it oont yust imachination your Jokel marching 
up mit der shtreet on der front of der regiment — by Ilercooless ? 
(bloivs lively flourish) to light for his lady loff oont for lipperty! 

Nan. (throwing her arms about him) — Hooray. Jokel! (They 
dance.) 

Robt. (laughing — <o Huxley) — Don't let him get away from 
us! 

. Hux. — He's a safe sticker. Captain. 

(Commotion heard without. Enter in great agitation Rog- 
genf elder, Iluber, Vondcrba.lt, Stoffel and others.) 

Rog. — No more Gvaker-vedding today! — Ditn't 1 told you, 
ditn't I told you, you bowlegged Pennsylvanee Dutchmens, dot 
all diss atshitatiou oont repellion voss from hen-pecked husbands, 
treamers oont bankrupts! Now dey kind crawl in deir holes — 
der King's army iss coming by Philadelphee. 

Robt. — Oho! So the rumor has become a certainty. 

(Others from garden and house, among than. Speer, have 
gathered, about the group. — A runner appears and hands a mes- 
sage to Robert.) 

Speer (to Gulp.) — Dost thou hear, neighbor? They come 
to Philadelphia after all. Since they come, they are welcome ! 

Cidp. — What say you, friend Speer? 

Speer. — I say, on my wedding-day, out of the generosity of 
say heart: They are welcome,! '{grasping Culp.'by the shoulder 
with his muscular fist and giving him a shake.) 

Culp. — I understand you, brother Shaker! 



14 

(Enter Lower-man and another citizen.) 

Low. — Disaster and ruin ! — What a fool was I to give in to 
Yon Dorn ! Chartered our ships to rebel privateers, today th*e 
news that Lord Howe's ships are in the Chesapeake, the way 
blockaded, payments not received ; we shall be found out and our 
ships and warehouses confiscated. (Aside.) My only chance to 
save my skin is in a public demonstration for the King. 

Hub. (pointing to Roggcnfelder and others about him.) — ■ 
Countrymen, are any of you alarmed by the ranting of these 
Tories? — Seize them, up on a rail with them! Make an example 
of the cowards. 

Robt. — Let them alone, Huber. We've work to do. — Here's 
a message from General Wayne (turning to Huxl.) ''The army 
moving toward Philadelphia. — Drill enlisted men, gather sup- 
plies, complete charts — I shall be with you directly to organize 
militia, as I'm ordered by his Excellency." — Huber, call your 
men to the commons and finish your lists. I'll be there within 
an hour. — Huxley, saddle your horse, you've a long ride before 
you ; and have Von Dorn sign this contract. 

(Exit Huxl. I 

Low. (coining for ward.) — Friends, be ye no longer deluded 
by these democrats and demagogues. Sir John Burgoyne and 
his royal legions are sweeping all before them from the north 
and Sir William Howe will soon be dictator in Philadelphia. 
Thp mule strength of the rebellion is broken, the lion 's might of 
King George is trumphant. Now is the last chance to return to 
your allegiance and secure amnesty. I say, Long live the King ! 

Rog. (and several others) — Long liff dot King! 

Hub. — Hang that Quaker quack and his jackals! (General 
rush for the Tories.) 

Robt. — Out of respect for this occasion and our host, let 
them in peace ! — Brothers ! Sir John Burgo yne offers two 
pounds apiece for the scalps of women and children of the New 
York frontier; Schuyler, Herkimer, Gansvoort and your country- 
men are marching to defeat the invaders or be hacked to pieces. 
Sir Win. Howe and his mercenaries threaten your homes, your 
capital and your hopes of liberty. — Shall it be. Long live the 
King ! 

Stof. — Nix come raus! — Long liff der repellion ! 

Others — Gift' der cammando! Vorwerts! 

Fled. — Mine vonst-upon-a-time Tsheneral, Knyphausen, is 
corning. — I vonder vot he iss offering for der top skin of my 
headt. 

Nan.— Oh, oh ! 

Fled. — Neffer mind. It's on yet, 1 am scratching it. 

(Enter Nina. Hands parcel to Robt.) 

Nina. — Miss Hestah done send dis heah ter Cap'n Paul *n y 
de sojers of Pennsumvanya. 



Jo 

(Robert steps to one side, opens the parcel and unfurls a 
silken flag with the Stars and Stripes.) 

Robt. (amazed) — Who made this, Nina? 

Nina. — Miss Hestah done made him hycrsef. 

Robt (M^ide) — My God, what would I not give to know her 
thoughts while she embroidered it — whether 't was but patriotism, 
or whether there be a thread of love woven in the beautiful 
handy work! (Picks sprig of mignonette from flowerbed and 
hands to Nina.) Take this Mignonette to your mistress; 'tig her 
favorite flower; and tell her the captain and the men of Penn- 
sylvania will thank her for the gift by never surrendering it to 
a. foe. — Can you remember that? 

Nina (straightening up and placing arms akimbo) — Leab 
tint to me, Mars Cap'n ! (exit) 

Robt. (turning to crowd and displaying banner) — Friends, 
have you seen the new banner adopted by Congress? Here is 
one, embroidered and presented us by the daughter of our host. 

AH— Ah! 

F1<>.<1. — How peautiful ! 

Robt. — Bugler, blow the assembly and lead out to the com- 
mons. — Friends, you know what this banner represents. What 
say you? 

Hub. — AH hail the young lady and the young republic! 

(Cheers. — Fled blows the signal. Low, who had retired to 
porch is seen remonstrating with Von D., who has re-appeared 
there. — Speer and Culp. in conversation. Some hotspurs, in, 
spite of Robl.'s protest seize rails and mount Roggen. and others 
an them, shouting: "To the pumpj to the tar-barrel, to the 
smoke-house with the Tories!" Exeunt all but Von D., Robt. 
and Low.) 

Von D. (advancing.) — Frieud Robert, even in the face of 
this British invasion, the fifty head of cattle are at the disposal 
of the Continental army. 

Low. — And in the face of this invasion thou art inviting 
ruin by aiding this rattle-brained rebel solicitor. 

Robt. (hotly) — You should answer me for that, w T ere't not 
for the place and for the Quaker garb I respect. You're not 
particular as to your disguise. 1 predict some day you'll hide 
behind lace and petticoats! 

Low. — When 1 do, though thou be armed to the teeth and 
supported by an army corps, look to thy safety! 

Von D. — Peace, my young friends. 
, (Curtain.) ... 



16 



ACT [I. 

3C S T E I. 

Time — Winter after occupation of Philadelphia by British. 
Scene — Street of the city. — From right to left : Smithy of Jona- 
than Speer with door and forge at right. Entrance to his 
dwelling at rear. Cobbler's booth of Gulp, within smithy, 
at left. — Small dwelling <■?' Gulp, with door into smithy. — 
Intersecting street. — Som*. what further up stage stone block 
with grated windows, nurd and wall in front, formerly ware- 
house, now used by British as military prison.— British 
guard seen pacing to and fro, Discovered Speer, working at 
forge and anvil; tin latter mounted on a "Quaker gun." — 
Enter from house, Hope.) 

Speer. — There's a cold blast coining, Hope, and prithee bring 
forth thy heaviest home-spun. They say 'twill continue an 
unwonted severe winter. It being our first together, 1 the more 
appreciate thy skillful handywork. 

Hope. — And 'tis my delight to make thee comfortable, my 
husband. I. have hid the goods away beneath the Mooring, and 
if they escape the inquisition of the grenadiers quartered on us, 
thou shalt not want for warm clothing. — Shall 1 bring thee aught 
particular from market? 

Speer. — Aye, a. flask of good spirits, since they have taken 
the last of our store. Friend Oulpeper comes in from beyond 
the lines with a load of leather, and will be chilled to the bone. 

(Exit Hope L. F. — Speer returns to work and hums a tune. 
— Enter Gulp, from intersecting street, with pack of leather on 
his bac],\ Enters smithy and drops the load.) 

Gulp. — Brrrr ! — Brrrr ! — (Tries to get attention of\ Speer, 
but latter does not notice him.) Well, neighbor, must 1 put on 
a fool's cap and bells and shake my hide like a wet water-spaniel 
to make you hear ! 

Speer — Ah, friend Demosthenes, I was too much absorbed, 
though I expected thee this very hour. 

Culp. — Hush! — Pianissimo! (in undertone) Making any 
Quaker guns of basswood lately ? 

Speer. — Keep one for a hoax! (pointing to that under anvil) 
The British make their own. — How are the Yankees at Valley 
Forge ? 

Culp. — Wearing out their old rags, till some have- no; cloth- 
ing on their honest rebel bodies but their cravats aud shoe- 
buckles — eating their meals with the benevolent aid of a magnify- 
ing-glass: one microscope in a mess, so they're obliged to take 
turns at it! 

Speer — God bless their faithful hearts ! 



17 

Gulp. — Aye, were't not for these stout hearts and for Oris- 
kany, Bennington, the bagging of Sir John Bnrgoyne and the 
rout of his scalping savages, this remnant of an tar.ny would 
mutiny and disband, execrating the sharks in Congress. Hap- 
pily also, Washington's new drill-master, Steuben, has given 
them work that will divert their minds, warm their frosty toes, 
and teach them to fight in concert, as a brass band plays! 

{Enter Hope with flask and cups.) 

Hope. — Friend Culpeper, thou shaHi warm thy spirits with 
this and dine with us this evening. 

Gulp. — Bless you, good sister! 

(Exit Hope. — Speer and Culp, seal themselves on bench and 
Speer pours out liquor.) 

Gulp. — As 1 live, neighbor, you are fortunate with so kind 
and pretty a wife! Alas, that your very wedding day ended in 
war-tumult ! Does it not oft make you shudder to think into what 
■danger our conduct leads this poor little woman 

Speer — -it doth, but I dare not call it to mind. — I give thee 
the return of peace! (raising his cup, as lie bands one to Gulp.) 

Gulp. — And [give you the young Republic! — Long may she 
prosper! — Brother Speer, you and T are fiddling on the brink 
of a dangerous precipice — fiddling away, fiddle-dee-dee-dee-dee! 

Speer — Thou art right, we are. 

Culp. — Should the British discover our work and hang us, 
1 hope they will hang us together, for I believe with Dr. Frank- 
lin, that 'tis more expedient, economical, pleasant and even more 
honorable to hang together than to hang separately! 

Speer — 'Tis well thou takest the matter so lightly. 

Culp. — Why should I not? Comical situation ! Here comes 
the army of Sir William Howe to Philadelphia to show us the 
town, and never imagines we know somewhat about it ourselves. 
-Just to be accommodating, they fit out that rotten ware-house over 
there (pointing toward it) as a prison, while you and 
I have the secret of that rat-hole of a smugglers' tunnel from 
its cellar into mine. To what a jail-delivery we'll treat them 
today. w r hile Sir William holds his noisy royal snake-dance! 

(Enter Nancy Maclay, weeping.) 

Nan. — good neighbors Speer and Culpeper ! — Oh, oh ! 

Gulp. — What's the trouble, Mademoiselle Nancy? 

Nan. — News from Jokel! Wounded and captured at Bran- 
dywine, sick in .yonder rotten prison, among rats, vermin and 
dirt, with no one to care for him, and they'll not permit me to 
see him — and — and they're going to shoot him today as a 
deserter! — Can no one help me save him? 

Gulp. — No one, darling, I'm afraid — and though we .could, 
remember that we, as loyal subjects of the King, dare not act 
^contrary to our conscience. 

Nan* — Fie! — Aren't you &n American? 



18 

Gulp. — With Londonian and Amsterdamian incidents in 
my lineage : a cosmopolite, yet in the main Irish, but gone crazy, 
hence a royalist conscience. 

(Re-enter Hope.) 

Hope — If it please you, friends, come in to dine. 

Speer — Here is another guest. 

Hope — Thou art welcome, sister. 

A'm — But 1 must have help. 

Speer — Come in, we will counsel with thee. 

(Hope leads Nancy into house. The others follow. Squad 
of drunken grenadiers pass up the street from R., yelling and 
singing.) 

Grenadiers — Had we no king, had we no ale. 

What vile conditions would prevail! 

(Enter hastily from L. Robert Paul disguised as British 
officer, muffled in long military cloak, and several soldiers.) 

Robt. — Guard, know you of a good housewife hereabouts 
who can prepare a hasty meal for myself and men" 

Guard — Yonder lives the Quaker blacksmith, Speer, an hon- 
est, loyal citizen, whose wife is a skilled cook. 

Robt. — A long, hungry march, special orders received on 
the way, and no time to return to quarters. — Here for thy infor- 
mation. (Tosses him a coin.) Come, men (meeting drunken 
grenadiers.) Avaunt, ye drunken rascals, or I'll have the dog's 
littre of ye in the guard-house! (Grenadiers disappear up cross- 
street. Robt. cutcrs smithy with his men and beats noisily on door 
of S peer's dwelling with his sword.) Ho within ! An officer of the 
King begs entrance. {Spar opens door. Root, gives him signal. 
He and his on n i nter and close door. Enter L. Sergeant Hicks 
and Lieutenant Ross. They stop at the cobbler's booth in the 
smithy.) 

Hicks. — The old den is deserted and the kettle-drummer and 
hide-puncher must be at mess. (Calls aloud.) Ho, ho, cobbler! 
Ho there! (to Ross) Have you never met the old lunatic? 

Boss — ] 'vi' met so many of them, Sergeant, since I entered 
the royal army, that I'm not certain! 

Hicks — Come, you jack! — Then I'll show you a rare bird. — 
They say he was once a craftsman of some erudition, that he had 
been converted by a sect that flouirshes hereabouts, called the 
M<»»onites, who abhor war, profanity and all the rest of the 
daily necessities of life, and that the war alarms and battle scenes 
about Philadelphia have left him only the knowledge of his craft 
and made a hurdy-gurdy of the rest of his wit. — Halloo cobbler!. 
(Picks up last and throws it at door. Enter from his dwell- 
ing, Culpcper. Tollers and looks about vacantly.) 

Cidp. — Past ten o'clock and I'm not here yet. — why do I 
not appear? — But alas, I come not! — And what am I to do with- 
out me, now that the King is so sore in need of leal subjects and 



19 

cannons of brass? 

Hicks. — A curiosity, is he not? 

Ross. — Indeed! — (to Culp.) Wake up, old mummy! — Where- 
the deuce are you, if you're not here? 

Culp. (looking at him blankly) — Ask my flunky. {Turning, 
to an imaginary servant) Alibaba, sit you down and write me 
out an alibibi. 

Hides — Who are you that are capable of such gyrations? 

Culp. — Avaunt slight man! — I? — I'm the Sultan! — Eunuch 
call in my forty wives, chop off their forty ambrosial heads and 
get me forty times forty new ones. I'll teach these miscreants 
absolute obedience to their sovereign ! 

Ross. — We arc honored in standing before so potent a 
prince ! 

Culp. — "Seest thou a man diligent in bis business? He 
shall stand before Kings," so sayeth Poor Richard. 

Hicks.— Who's he? 

Culp. — Grandson of Richard the Lion-hearted — Coeur de 
Leon, if you prefer — and cousin of vir in luna. — Do you believe, 
gentlemen, that vir est in luna? 

Ross. — Aye, lunatic, you'll mend these two pair of boots 
before tomorrow night, or your tunic is tar and your ermine 
feathers — do you hear? 

Culp. (starling as though from a dream) — I do, and your 
honey words arc duleet music to mine ears. (Looking at boots) 
— Out at the toe — split at the heel. I shall fortify these boots 
for a forced march to the sea — 

Hicks — What say you? 

Culp. — Hoping you'll drive every Yankee rebel into the old 
briny, where they belong. — Aye, 'tis a neat job I shall do for 
you, and pray bring in the rest of the regiment to be cobbled 
o' the new crocodile-leather I've brought in today from the hills, 
with the "open sesame" our good Sir William hath given me ? 
his humblest servant — though I was nearly captured this sunrise 
by the rapscallion rebel rovers. One of their chief bandits hath 
offered five guineas for my poor bald scalp and ears! 

Boss. — What say the hill-bumpkins of the rebel army at Val- 
ley Forge? 

Culp. — Bad news, sinister, inauspicious, unpropitious tid- 
ings! They say every stump about the hell-hole is mounted by 
artillery — ten thousand four-footed beasts purchased for the new 
cavalry, Washington and his whiskered outlaws fattening on 
the fat of last summer's fatness and the French, German and 
Polish nobility flocking to the standard of these traitors and 
pouring the gold of the continent into their treasury. — O that I 
should live to see these latter days of Nineveh ! Leave me, gentle- 
men, leave me to my broken spirit and these damaged! heels and 
toes — four shillings and sixpence, delivered tomorrow at half of 



20 

■eight o'clock — spare me, gentlemen! — Brrr! 'Tis cold here, 
Alibaba, lav you a lump of ice into the sun to dry, for fuel. 

Hicks, (aside to Ross) — The old loon's information may be 
•of some value to the General, (to 'Gulp.) Very well, uncle, but 
mark, if the boots be not waterproof, the scalp and ears are ours ! 

(Gulp, clutches at bothears, as if afraid of losing them. 
Exeunt Hicks and Ross. Gulp, indicates asses' ears -with his 
•hands.) 

Gulp.— Yon ai*e welcome to my wool, if you'll pull it over 
Sir William's eyes! 

(Raps at Speer's door. Eider Rout Paid and Speer.) 

Robt. — Are we alone? 

Gulp. — We are. 

Robt. (Jo Speer) — My men are still guzzling your loyal rum 
and Madeira, so we have a moment. (To Gulp.:) Are you sure 
this sketch of the fortifications below the middle ferry of the 
Schuylkill is correct in detail? 

Gulp. — 1 am. 

Speer.— Both of us are Pamiliar with every stick and stump. 

Robt. — Huxley is in the city disguised as a fish-vender. 
Washington will have the chart before daylight tomorrow, also 
-our message in the new code. — Here comes the old rascal. 

(Enter Huxley, drawing a fish-cart.) 

Huxl — Any fish? Any oysters? Any lobsters? 

Gulp. — What fish would not turn seasick to behold you thus, 
Huxley? What common fishhawk would not part with his appe- 
tite at the smell of your stale perch ! 

Robt. — What lobster would not blush at the sound of your 
voice ! 

Speer — Art thou on parole, or art thou still on the Yankee 
pay roll? 

Huxl. — Vile quibblers and punsters! — Aye, a pretty com- 
pany of rogues the four of us! The captain a deserter and 
traitor, Culpeper an established lunatic, Speer a white-livered 
Tory, and 1 treasonably administering to the over-fed bellies of 
the enemy, without the proper fare to get them the gout. 

Robt. — A fair average for this plaee and time. All's fair 
in war, remember, if not in love. Up to date we're taught no 
•other morals by our civilization. 

Speer — We are still not. quite clear how thou didst get thy 
command with the enemy. 

Robt. — (As Hux. stands sentinel, E.) — Simply thus: 
After my instructions from General Washington, I disappeared 
from the army, and 'twas given out in camp that I 'd deserted, 
in order to aid me in the event of my getting such employment 
with the enemy as might bring me near their councils. I spent 
•some time in New York town, disguised as an itinerant preacher. 
— Nay, you needn't smile: I'd not have attempted the Bishop 



21 

of Canterbury, but did my role neatly enough — and I gathered 
much information at Clinton's head-quarters. On my way from 
New York to this city, 1 fell in with Huxley. "The chance of 
your life !" he exclaimed all in a heat, and led me into a thicket, 
where lay the body of a British Captain, murdered and robbed 
by some ruffian gang. His horse, saddled and bridled, was brows- 
ing near by. In lire captain's pocket we found his orders from 
General Clinton to take command of the re-enforcements at 
Smith's Crossing and march them to this city. 'Twas a sad out- 
rage, but a rare chance for a daring game on the enemy. The 
name of the officer happened to be Robert Pane: P-a-n-e. In 
the general's script it might be read "Paul" fully as well as 
"Pane"; and a half hour after we had buried the officer and 
marked his grave. 1 was in his uniform with his orders in my 
pocket and seated on his horse, galloping to my new command, 
without, a commission or the oath of allegiance. What with con- 
fusion of arrangements, drunken adjutants and over-confident 
generals, immediate detection is not probable. My men are now 
in camp at the lower ferry. — Remember, this goes no further 
than these four pair of ears. — Now up and to business gentle- 
men. — Huxley, here's the chart and the message. His excel- 
lency must have these before dawn tomorow. You have the 
parole. 

{Huxley takes apart one of the disks of his jish-scales, which 
is made of two plates, places the papers between and fastens the 
plates together again.) 

Hii.rl. — A fish sandwich, if you like! 

Robt. — To delay Howe's projected night attack on our out- 
posts, while our message prepares Washington for the defence,. 
I have sent confusing despatches neatly forged, to officers of the 
British outposts. — Success to you, Huxley! 

Huxl. — I'm off, and if Georgie isn't prepared for Willie, 
I'm no scout. 

(Exit Huxley, turning up intersecting street and calling 
out: Any fish? Any oysters? Any lobsters':? 

S peer — 'T would amuse thee, Captain Paul to observe the 
bearing of friend Tobias of late. Though jealous of thy rank 
in the British army and wishing thee all ill, he seems forced to* 
commend thy apostaey to patriot, neutral and royalist. 

Bobt. — The dilemma of him who ehoses his party from cow- 
ardice and his friends from avarice. — I think that man suspects 
me of being in the secret service, but dare not declare it, before 
he has proof, for fear of appearing a jealous weakling to our 
mutual friends, in case of an error. 

Cv.lp. — He has his keen nose to the trail, you may be sure.. 

Robt. — That I am, and mark me, while he now plays the pro- 
tector to his associate Yon Dorn, he will betray him, should he 
be disappointed in a certain hope. — (To Specr:) What 



22 

have you and your wife accomplished with Nan. ? 

Speer — She will do her part. 

Robt. — You promised her, Jokel shall be released by a trick 
•of yours? 

Speer — Yea, and the General may be assured she suspects 
not thee of being in the plot. 

Robt. — Well enough. — Your grenadier boarders are ordered 
to the works, out of your way. — Now to review the plan, lest we 
make a mistake: Here's the nurse's pass for Nan. Macley. 
Our friend, Curt Ruber, is prisoner in the room accessible from 
the old wine-cellar and the secret entrance to the smugglers' 
tunnel. Her instructions are entirely to Huber. We may 
•depend on him to manage the escape and cover it up by closing 
the invisible trap door — invisible, you said, Culpeper? 

Gulp. — Aye, ingeniously wrought, into thestairway. 'Twas 
made known to me when I purchased this house, that when once 
yonder building was raided by government officers, the smug- 
glers transferred their goods to this in the wink of a chicken, 
and the raiders were completely baffled and unable to find the 
leak. 

Robt. — We shall entertain no scruples in risking our success 
on the ingenuity of those rascals, since we've joined their class! 
— Huber is to suspend a kerchief from a window as the signal 
that the exodus has begun. Meanwhile I shall create a bit of 
excitement on the street that may divert the attention of the 
guard. — Poor Jokel to be led out and shot as a deserter by my 
own command ! — The genial bugler tooted too bravely at Brandy- 
wine and Germantown to deserve such a fate! {To Speer:) I 
shall count on you. 

Speer. — Thou sha.lt find me at hand. 

Robt. — The guard is drunk, and you're a powerful man. 

Speer — It will suffice. {Exit into his dwelling.) 

Robt. — Culpeper, have you news from Hester? 

Culp. — The same story. Since your reputed desertion she'll 
not hear your name mentioned. — Lowerman, in favor with Sir 
William, plays the protector and presses his suit, hard — appar- 
ently with success. 

Robt. — Not if 1 can save her from him. — Culpeper, one 
would be vindicated in the eyes of the woman he loves, e'en 
though that love be not returned. Promise me, if I should be 
lolled in this secret service, and you survive, she shall know the 
truth. 

Culp. — I promise. 

Robt. — And keep an eye on the Tory member of the firm. 

Culp. — You need not urge it. (Exit Culp. foil-owing 
Speer.) 

Robf. (shouting into back door:) Forward! (Enter the 
four soldiers, tottering from liqiicr. Th-e five march v.p the 



street to prison entrance.) 

Robt. (to guard in passing:) Guard, we dine at the Shak- 
er's again. The fare is good and the people after the very heart 
of our good King George! (Raps at gate. Turnkey opens.) 
This order to the warden. lie is to deliver up the prisoner at 
once, to be shot and tried — tried and shot, I mean, — do you 
hear? (Exeunt into gate turnkey, Robt and soldiers. Enter 
■into smithy Hope and Nancy; the latter dressed as a Menonite 
nurse.) 

■ Hope — Remember, thou art not to recognize Jokel or reveal 
thyself to him, shouldst meet him in the prison, or all is lost. 
Do thy part faithfully, and thy bugler shall be with thee a' free 
man today. 

Nan. — Faith, I believe you, and I'll do as much for the rest 
as you're doing for him. (Exit Hope.) 

(Na?i. goes to prison gate, knocks, presents her pass and i? 
admitted. — Culp. and Hope pass through smithy from Speer's 
dwelling with bundles of men's and women's Quaker apparel a)hd 
enter Cnlp's dwelling. — Speer re-enters and works bellows of 
forge, then gathers hot ashes and cinders into bucket. Re-enter 
Hope and assists him.) 

Speer — Be at hand, Hope, when they come this way. 

(Re-enter, at prison gate, Robt. and soldiers, leading out 
Jokel in chains. They pass down street by the smithy.) 

Jokel — Diss iss der ent of mine treams of loft' oont lipperty. 
O iff I had only here mine pugle, I vould plow vonst more a 
salute to der repellion oont to dot girl mit der hazelnut eyes! 

Robt. (in disguised voice and British accent) — What says 
the rogue ? — Hold your bloody Dutch tongue ! — Away with him ! 

(As they pass smithy entrance, Hope, who has stepped, to 
front, gives signal to Speer, who rushes out with bucket of hot 
ashes, as if to empty it into street. He manages to collide with 
the) two soldiers in rear of Jokel, to upset them and, in spilling 
the contents of bucket, to blind them. He stumbles, and in ris- 
ing, his powerful body upsets the two front guards, who have 
turned about.) 

Speer — Hoho ! — Beelzebub ! — Bandits ! — ( rising ) Ah ! — Par- 
don, gentlemen! Verily, hot cinders and need for haste! 

Hope (wringing her hands as though in consternation:) 
What hast thou done, man! His Majesty's grenadiers! 
(aside to Jokel:) Run for thy life! The alley to the right. 
Friends there. 

2Tted._Wob.lan ! 

(In s-pite of hi? chains, he dashes past guards and disappears 
R.) 

Robt. (to Speer, discharging pistol into air.) Scoundrel! 
Blockhead ! Awkward boor ! — After him', or you'll pay for this ! 

(Enter from rear Culp.) 



24 

(Julp. (rushing about:) Meteors, cyclones, volcanic erup- 
tions! What shooting star raised this dust! Oh, oh, I've stub- 
bed my toe! {hopping on one foot.) 

{Exeunt Rob., Specr and soldiers in pursuit of Jokel.) 

Hope {looking after them) — Thank God, he's safe! 

{Guard at prison has discharged musket. Some of prisotv 
officers rush out and join in pursuit.) 

Culp. — Madam, the signal at the prison window. Make 
haste! 

{Kerchief seen suspended from an upper window of prison. 
Exeunt Culp. and Hope into Culp.'s house. After a time mur- 
mur of voices heard. (Julp. enters workshop, takes up last, shoe 
and hammer and starts to work noisily, while people dressed in 
male and female Quaker attire are seen passing from his house 
into that of Specr. Nan. appears and steps wp to Gulp.) 

Nan. — Have you seen Jokel? 

Gulp. — Go along, girl, and you'll find him wearing a 1777 
style Quaker hat! — A captain's commission for you! Go along! 

{Exit Nan. — Enter Huber, as the rest, in Quaker dress.) 

Hub. (to Gulp.) — Say, old boots, this is a most profane 
Quaker meeting you've smuggled us into. Whither does this 
procession lead? 

Gulp. — To the gibbet, Huber, if you obey not orders and 
march on. — Didst thou i-lose that trap-door and cover up your 
tracks ? 

Hub. — Tis closed and locked and remains a mystery to the 
enemy, unless the deuce reveals it to them, as that good angel 
did to ns. — By the way, may I have a slice o' sole-leather? I'm 
all but starved to death. 

Culp. — The more tender part of the animal shall be thy por- 
tion if thou wilt haste along and teach they fellow fugitives the 
"thou" and the "thee," the suppression of profanity for a day 
and the Shaker gravity of bearing. Haste thee to thy task. 

Hub. — For a hunk o' ham we shall "thou" thee henceforth 
and forever and swear on no provocation till we return to the 
Continental salt pork at Valley Forge ! 

(Exeunt all but Gulpeper and guard, before prison. Report 
of guns and general tumult. Enter ^Yardcn and several turn- 
keys.) 

Guard — Warden, what's the alarm? 

Warden, — Spooks in the prison! The devil's turned Whig! 
— A score of prisoners gone like smoke through the chimney and 
not a brick removed or a loop-hole visible ! Damn the commis- 
sion !— I resign ! 

(Gulp, listens, then pounds away at his shoe with all his 
might. Re-enter Speer in haste and itammers at his anvil.-~ 
Alarm-bells.) 

{Curtain.) 



Scene ii — Living-room in Von Dorn Maiior-kouse. Massive 
Colonial Furniture. Stairway U. L. Door R. leading to 
corridor. Doors L. C. and R. C. leading to other apart- 
ments. Large fireplace with blazing back-log U. R. Dis- 
covered Hester and Listie seated near fireplace, spinning. 
List. — what a hullabaloo men do start on earth when they 
make war instead of making bread and cheese! 

II est. — -lye, and often undo in a fortnight what they've 
done in half a century. 

List. — Yet what spectacle will match a military spectacle? — 
Who'll ever forget the gay army of Continentals marching south 
through Philadelphia, with their sprigs of green and their bright, 
brave faces, proud of the very patches on their ragged clothes! 
Hest. — Indeed there's an irresistable charm in a military 
pageant, and our officers, from Washington and our renegade 
Quaker General Green down to the younger members, did, by 
their gallantry and enthusiasm set all hearts on fire ! — Canst 
remember their toasts to us at dinner? 

List. — 1 have a written record of them, with description of 
each officer on the margin! 

Hest. — Speculating again ! 

List. — A fig for them all ! Not one in the staff to fit my 
uniform ! 

Hest. — A pity ! Thou must shorten the sleeves ! 
List. — Even then 1 may have another wait — so many of those 
dear arms returned in slings ! Think what I did to my uniform 
when Comwallis marched into the city and brought in, our 
wounded boys: I procured a flail-handle and put a wooden leg 
into the breeches ! 

Hest. — To increase thy chance of getting a fit? 
List, (sighing:) Alas! — Perhaps! — And to indicate that 
my heart is still with the dilapidated army, 

Hest. — And didst hide the uniform in the garret: 
List. — Not for the whole scarlet, vaunting, spangled staff of 
Sir William Howe! — Hester, wherefore hast thou named thy lit- 
tle bantam rooster "Lord North?" 

Hest. — Because, like the British peer, he hath grown too 
lazy to scratch and will persist in crowing and lording it. — But, 
Listie, I have no heart for these fancies now. 

List. — Since the evil news, that Captain Paul had deserted ! 
Hest. — Even that. When such as he, who seemed the best 
And least impeachable of them all, turn renegade, one might ques- 
tion all virtue. 

List. — Thou lovest Robert Paul. 

Hest. — I love the cause for which he fought at Brandy wine. 
Paoli and Germantown, before his downfall — before lie betrayed 



26 

the emblem [ sent him. — Ah, the .sacred hopes I wove into that 
banner, and to see it now adorning the ballrooms of Sir William 
Howe and his scoffing lieutenants! 

List. — Thou lovest Robert this day ! 

Rest. — For shame ! What would Tobias say to that ? — God 
forgive us — I hate a traitor, as thou dost, and Robert, is — No I'll 
not utter it : He did it not for gold, I know that, Listie, not for 
gold ! 

List. — Then from new conviction, and canst consider one 
who acts from what Quakers deem the voice of the spirit, a 
traitor? 

TIcst. — There's the despair of it! — In a struggle like this, 
there is but one cause to the generous; and for what other cause 
could Robert Paul, as we knew him, live and die? The only 
thinkable thing is that he hath gone mad. — Perhaps — I might 
have saved him to himself. — Listie, Listie! (Buries her head 
in her hands and weeps.) 

List, (caressing her) — Come, cousin. If thou art in part 
responsible, thou mayest, perchance, make amends; if he is guilty, 
he shall no more occupy thy thoughts. Thy good Quaker bringing 
up should calm thee. 

Hest. (resuming her work : ) I shall dismiss it. — What right 
have I to grieve about a deserter, or to despair of a cause for 
which my father risks his life every moment? — Listie, how many 
of the fugitives are still in hiding with us? 

List. — But seven now, the rest eseaped in disguise to the 
American lines in spite of the redoubled vigilance of the enemy. 

Hest. — Go thou to the loft and inquire into the wants of 
the men, and call the bugler hither. I have a question to ask 
him. 

List. — I can spell the words of it. (Exit up stairway.) 

(Enter Von D.) 

Von D. — War and pestileuee, hatred, shamelessness, infidel- 
ity, murder — these are the fruits of the covetousness of the 
mighty and the impatience of the multitude. Quaker regiments 
and ranks of blazing firelocks for Christian forbearance, philan- 
thropy and tranquil piety, and we drawn into the vortex of this 
mad pool, here in the city of brotherly love, founded by the great, 
apostle of peace, William Penn ! 'Tis an old saying : Life is 
full of paradoxes, full of paradoxes, my child! 

Hest. — Full of deceit and despair, father. 

Von D. — I know thou art thinking of our quondam friend, 
Captain Paul. I 've tried to forget him, but his example remain- 
etb„ to show forth the vanity of earthly trusts and friendships. 
. Hest. — Friendships ! of all treasures the hardest to renounce ! 

Von />. — Forsooth, Hester. I have held friendship, and 
particularly this toward Robert, as friendship should be held, 
above all consideration of self-interest, above religious creed or 



27 

political opinion, even above honor, as the word goes; but I caa- 
not, and thou canst not, hold it above fidelity to a principle. 

Best. — I can not — not friendship, but — 

Von D. — Thou dost hesitate — Hester — do I read thy mind 
aright? 

Hest. — Father, I loved him. 

Von D. — I feared it — feared it. child, because I would not 
have thee love a youth not of the Society of Friends. Hester, 
when thy good mother was taken from me, I promised myself, 
^hen thou shouldst grow up to womanhood, I would employ all 
my paternal influence to have thee marry within meeting, that 
thy life might become as tranquil and sweet as that of thy blessed 
mother. — I see thou hadst nigh disappointed thy father; but 
now I am re-assured. Kobert Paul hath deserted to the enemies 
of our hopes, of our ideals, of our people. — Even love — I hear 
•theej say it — could not endure against this treason. 

Hest. — I knew thy wish, and I knew not of love of a cer- 
tainty, till all was lost ! 

Von D. — Thy father shall know how to comfort thee. There 
shall be comfort and peace for thee, e'en mid the terrors of this 
war. One man hath remained true, in spite of political differ- 
ence — Tobias. 

Hest — Yea, father. He is most worthy. 

(Enter Nina.) 

Nina. — Mars Von Doan, Mistah Lowman in de libyary, wish. 
to see you. 

VonD. — Ask him to come here. (Exit Nina.) Nay, Hester, 
I would have thee remain; there may be tidings that concern our 
safety. 

(Enter Tobias Lowerman.) 

Low. — 1 hope I am not disturbing. 

Von D. — Thou art not, friend Tobias. We are happy in the 
presence of friends in these times of enmities. 

Low. — And 'tis good news I bring. My intercessions with 
Sir William in your behalf have averted all further trouble: 
there are to be no confiscations of your lands or goods, nothing 
but the ordinary requisitions, and since this is to be a new army 
post, several officers of dragoons will be quartered here. 

(Von D. and Hest. e^cchan-ge glances of alarm.) 

Von D. — We are deeply indebted to thee, friend Tobias, for 
thy intercession. But for thee, indeed we had been banished 
and our estates forfeited to the crown. — The tribute to Caesar 
we shall pay as required, and the dragoons) shall be entertained 
,as is becoming British officers adhering to an honest allegiance 
to the King. 

Low. — There is one American officer of the Provincial Vol- 
unteer corps. 

Von D. — Some acquaintance ? 



28 

Low. — Our friend. Captain Paul. (Both Von D. and Hest. 
start.) 

Von D. (severely.) Captain Paul! We have no suck 
friend. 

Low. — A loyal subject of the King. 

Hest. — No, friend Tobias, no, not him. if vou can prevent 
it! 

Low. — If 'tis thy wish, Hester. 

You />.— Friend Tobias, thou perceivest our sentiments in 
this matter. Canst save us this pain? 

Low. — And the embarrassment to our friend, the Captain. — 
f trust I can effect it. 

(Enter Nina.) 

Nina — Mars Yon Doan, Mistah Speer am here wid de bosses 
shod, waitin' fo' awdahs. 

Von D. — I thank thee, Tobias. — Hester, do thou have the 
wine served— I shall return presently. (Exit Von D. following 
Nina.) 

Low. — Nay, rest thee, Hester. Thou appearest fatigued. 

Hest. (affecting levity) — From forced marches and counter- 
marches betwixt kitchen and dining-room. We have just fed a 
troup of yaegers returned from an unfortunate encounter with 
Washington's rangers. — Tobias, thou wilt keep thy promise? 

Low. — Thou wouldst not have Captain Paul here? 

Hest. — Not for the world. 

Low. — He was our friend. — Wilt not give him a chance to 
defend ids course? 

Hest. — There is no defense. 

Low. — 1 shall do thy bidding — whatever that be, 'tis to m* 
a grateful duty.O Hester, would my life might be a perpetual 
vassalage to thee! — I can but repeat my humble profession of 
love. If I have adhered to the cause of the King, could I have 
done differently against my convictions, and hath it not proven a 
blessing to thee and thy father? 

Hest. — I respect thee — aye now more than ever, for adhering 
to thy party, and when shall we ever repay thee for averting 
those persecutions to which our Whig sympathies make us liable ! 

Low. — One word of love, Hester, would put mo in thy arrears 
forever ! 

Hest. — To grieve thee, Tobias, is a deep pain to me. I have 
thought of late, it hath become my father's wish that I accept 
thee in marriage; but I have struggled in vain for this consum- 
mation. As a Quaker girl I have learned to curb the raging of 
the heart, but there is that within which I 've failed to command, 
and determine for e'en so good a man as thou. 

Low. — Because 'tis already given ? 

Hest. — Must I answer thee? 

Low. — Thou lovest Robert Paul, the deserter. 



29 

Hest. — I love not a deserter. 

Low. — I ask thy forgiveness, and agaiu. Hester, i beg for 
thy love. When the King's cause triumphs, I shall have greater 
wealth, position and royal patronage to offer thee. 

Hest. — When the King's cause is lost, thou shalt have no 
better friend against the vengeance of thy fellow citizens than 
Hester Von Dorn, who will ever be thine advocate, but who cannot 
promise thee her hand today. 

Low. — No more propitious answer, Hester? 

Best. — Nay, Tobias. 

Low. {aside) — That cursed Quaker oath! 1 shall force an 
answer before tonight. (To Hester, hissing her hand, which she 
offers.) I continue thy protector, while thou and thy father 
are in danger. 

Hest. — I'm not worthy of thy kindness. I had nigh thought 
all men traitors but my father. 

Low. (melodramatically) — My endeavor shall be to revive 
thy faith in man ! (Exit.) 

(Gulp, appears in corridor, looking after Low., then enters.) 

Gulp. — Trust not that man. 

Hest. — Wherefore sayest thou so? 

Gulp. — He is a trimmer, a flip-flopper, a fence-bird, like 
some others, and some naturalists do hold that birds are descend- 
ed from the serpents. — Pardon me, Mistress Von Dorn, for the 
rudeness, but my shoe pincheth me. (Sits down and deliberately 
draws off a shoe. ) By the way : I just made a pair of riding- 
boots for Major Andre, the Adjutant General, and when I told 
him the leather was from the old tannery of General Wayne, he 
quoth, with a gentleman's oath : "May they never bear me into 
the camp of the old fox, lest he have bis coon-skin vandala hang 
me for my satires at his expense." — But apropos: "For the want. 
of a nail the shoe was lost," sayeth Poor Dick, so I've fastened 
my heel with a spring. (Presses spring and the heel of the shoe 
flies open. Takes out a note and hands it to Hest.) 

Hest. (reads) — "You may be in need of aid today. As far 
as my duties to his Majesty permit, I shall be at your service. — 
Robert Paul!" (Hesitates for a moment, then throws note into 
fire.) 

Gulp. — Do you accept? 

Hest. — Nay. 

Gulp. — I blame you not. The Captain is a contemptible 
-dog. (Gloses the heel, buckles his shoe, rises, turns right-about 
on the heel, raises foot and, raps heel with knuckles.) Tell no 
soul of this, for even my right sole has not an inkling of it. 

(Exit Culp. Hest. makes gesture as though to recall Mm.) 

Hest. — this enigma! (Sinks into settee mul covers her 
face with her hands. — Enter from stairway Jokel Fledcrmau-s in 
■Quaker dress followed; by L-istie.) 



30 

Fled, (looking at his garments) — I feel like a preacher vat 
tshust got his ' ' good pye ' ' from his congregation ! Ladies, mine 
name iss Fledermaus, vieh means auf English, a bat, but I assure 
you, I could not see der proat side of mine hand by der front of 
mine face in dat dark rumpel kammer in der upper ent of diss 
house. I tried to lock der vindow open, but der lock ditn't vork, 
especially because dere vossn't no vindow. 

Hest. — But thou wert safe there from all pursuit. — Art 
hungry ? 

Fled. — I am so veak, 1 can't holt my tongue! 1 got der 
shakers all ofer. 

List, (laughing) — Fatal for a soldier! "What shall I bring 
thee to eat and drink ? 

Fled. — Iff you — excoose me. iff ton blease; a little fermented 
cabbage mit sauerkraut, a cheese sandvich oont a cold glass mit 
foam on der top of der inside ! 

Hest. — Listie, canst "tou" till the order? 

List— I shall try!— (to Fled.) If I cannot get what "tou" 
wishest I shall get some tea for "tee." (Exit.) 

Hest. — One question, Mr. Fledermaus : Didst hear the name 
of the officer who was to lead thee to thine execution ? 

Fled. — Yen I voss running oont tshumping fences I heered 
someone call: "Captain Paul." 

Hest. (aside)— So't was he, after all. (To Fled.— Art 
sure he made every effort to re-capture thee ? 

Fled. — He svore lout enough for a Hessian dragoner. — 
Excoose me, fraeulein, iss tou his friend oont vill tou say nod- 
dings to nobody? 

Hest. — 1 promise thee. 

Fled. — Den J vill confidence to tee, dot he voss tshoost a lee- 
fie negligence of his dooty. 

Hest.— Wilt tell me the details? 

Fled. — Excoose me, Fraeulein, but tee must rememper dot 
diss is der mittle of a var, dot diss man perhaps did me a fafer., 
oont dot consegvently no one vill, for der present, hear no par- 
ticulars from Fledermaus, dot's me. No .bat feelings. Fraeulein,. 
yah? (Very suavely and, with many deep bows.) . . . .\ .. 

Hest. — None, good man. 

(A screech heard. — Re-enter L. C. Listie, pulling Nina by the 
ear. The latter is dressed in huge American officer's uniform, 
ichicJc dangles loosely about her limbs, and carries sword and 
pistol at belt.) 

List. — The outrage, the sacrilege! — Behold what 1 discov- 
ered — this, in my magnificent officer's uniform! 

Hest. (laughing) — O warlike form of Hannibal ! At length, 
Listie, thou shouldst be satisfied! 

List. — She shall be flogged and go without her dinner for 
this. — Right about face! (Whirls Nina completely about.) 



Fled. — Looks like a cannibal vol ate a Yankee for preakfast 
oont got into his duts. 

List, (stamping her foot) — How didst dare to wear my uni- 
form ? 

Nina — Mistiss Listie, I's jus' tryin' ter get de crimples outen 
it. 

List. — It would take ten of thy size for that, goose ! 

Hesi. (to List.) — Thou art but provoked because thou canst 
not find thy white gander for it ! 

List — Away with thee and off with the regimentals, or thou 
shalt be incarcerated in the hen-coop ! — Come out to thy dinner, 
Mr. Bugler. 

(Exeunt Nina and List. Enter Nancy, meeting than at 
door. ) 

Nan. — What d'you think o' that! 

Ffed. — I vill buy you a solcher coat like dot, sweetheart, 
oont ven you go mit der var, I will shtay home oont make fancy 
vork ! 

Nan. — None o' your jokin', Jokel, or they'll get you yet. 
You must leave for the American lines tonight. Mistress Hester, 
they are searching the town, and it may be his last chance. — 
Come, follow me. 

Fled. — Mine dinner iss ofer diss vay, but all you got to do 
iss vistle, Nency, oont I am coming alretty! 

(Exeunt Fled, and Nan. to corridor. Enter L. Von D. and 
half a dozen fugitives in dress of Quakers and Men-onites.) 

Yon D. — Friends, ye are the last to cross the lines. Your 
brethren are back in the ranks. I wish you joy in joining them. 
Thou and thou have your passes and empty flour-sacks for the 
mills and know what to do. Thou and thou go with Ludwig, for 
the load of fuel. Friend Huber comes with instructions for the 
rest. — Be cautious and wise, for ye travel dangerous roads. 

(Enters from corridor Nina, running, followed by a Citizen, 
Lieutenant Ross and British soldiers.) 

Nina. — Mars Von Do'n, de sojers! , 

Citizen — Here they are! 

Ross. — A good catch ! Secure these men. If any resist, 
shoot them down! 

(Men offer resistance, our escapes through door.) 

Von D. — Friends, resist not. Resistance is vain. — Lieuten- 
ant, take me, and let these men go free, and thou shalt have gold. 

Ross. — Hear the old fox ! Secure him and his Shaker ves- 
try, and we'll have the treasure as well. (Soldiers proceed to 
bind Von />. and the fugitives.) 

Hest. — Have pity, Lieutenant, have pity on my good father! 

Ross. — Sorry, my Shaker lass, but this is war, and we're 
not handing out loving kindnesses to the enemy, least of all to 
(those who fight in the dark ! 



'11) 

(Enter R. Low, in apparent agitation-, followed later by 
(hdp.y who pauses at corridor.) 

llest. (aside) — Tobias, lielp ! Anything — everything — I 
promise thee, if thou wilt save my poor father! 

Low. (giving secret sign to citizen) — Gentlemen, a grave 
mistake!. A meeting of law-abiding Quakers. Lieutenant, I 
advise thee let these men go free, or be ridiculed at headquarters 
for thy misguided zeal. 

Boss. — Fie, tie ! Have I not been on duty in yon prison, and 
know I not the faces of tin's man and that, in spite of the pious 
eloak, as I know my helmet from your Quaker hat? Keep your 
hand out of this or i bag you as an accomplice. 

Hesl. — Is there no hope, Tobias? 

Low. — I shall fall at Sir William's feet in your behalf! 
Hester, thy promise — • 

Rest. — Binds me to yon, if you win for my father! 

('nip. (approaching from door) — Gentlemen, I have 
no sympathy with these hypocritical, rascally rebels, but I'm for 
fair play. — 1 myself overheard this Shaker. Tobias Lowerinan, 
bribe yon citizen with a goodly sum, to deliver these fugitives 
and their abettors into your hands and to keep the real inform- 
ant's name secret forever. (Stepping up to Citizen) — Kindly 
corroborate, buddie ! 

Low. — A lie! This man's a notorious lunatic. 

Cul. — Perchance the fog was out of my cupola when I heard 
this, as 'tis while I declare it. — To exact a promise from this 
lady and appear as her rescuer, depending on his influence with 
Sir William, this man betrayed her, her father and these men. 

Ross. — What's that to us? 

Culp. (staring citizen in face) — Hocus-pocus! (play of 
the hands) — Corroborate, I say, buddie! 

Cit. — I deny it not, and would have done as much without 
the rawiu-4. tiJi , jj ^j 

Von D. and Hesl. — Tobias ! 

Low. — Damned thief ! — and / cease to deny it ; f uthermore 
I declare every member of this household, male and female, an 
accomplice of spies. Arrest this woman and put the old man to 
the torture. The hidden gold of his treasury! A rich haul, 
Lieutenant ! 

(Some of the soldiers seize Host. — Von J)., with a powerful 
rffort, frees himself from his captors, strikes down several of 
them and seizes a pistol from belt of another.) 

Von D. — Foul treason, dissolution and hell on earth ! (shoots 
down Low., thrusts aside soldiers and tabes Hester to his arms, 
but is again overpowered and he and Hester are bound fast.) 

Ross — To the torture with the old Shylock. A lighted can- 
dle, men ! (Soldiers bring in lighted- candle, and Von D.'s hands 
are held over it.) Now, old man, where is "thy" hidden 



treasure? 

Von D. — Barn me to a crisp, and ye 'II uo! gel a farthing. 

Best. — Mercy, mercy, Lieutenant ! — Father, let me bear this 
for tbee! 

(Nina, with an outburst of yells and screams, blows Out 
candle, and scratches and biles as she is seized by soldiers.) 

Ross. — Throw that wench into the baek yard ! 

(Nina is carried out R., screaming, (land to is re-lighted 
with burning Under. Enter Captain Paul with Speer, Hub., 
and. Fled., the latter three disguised as corporal, and two privates 
of Provincial Volunteers. Robt. strikes candle out of soldier's 
hand. 

Robt. — What's this! (Presents order) — Lieutenant, an 
order from Colonel Cook. I take command of this company at 
once, to join in the night raid on Washington's outposts. (To 
Speer) — Corporal Britt, you and your men take charge of these 
prisoners. 

Low. (reviving and raising himself partly from floor) — This 
man is a spy'. Arrest him, Lieutenant Ross! I can prove my 
■charge. (Falls back and sivoori$.) 

Hest. (aside) — blessed hope! — Would to God be speaks 
the truth. 

Ross — Aha ! Another fox in the trap ! — I challenge the val- 
idity of these orders! 

Robt. — By King George, I'll have you court-martialed for 
'disobedience before the enemy ! 

Ross — Support me, men ! This man is a spy ! Seize him ! 

Robt. — Liar, miscreant, dupe of a dying slanderer! (strikes 
him full in. face with hand.) What honest man need obey you? 
(both draw their swords and fight. Robt. succeeds in disarming 
Ross. Latter reaches for his pistol. Speer prevents him.) 

Speer — Thou treacherous Philistine ! 

Robt. — Tie that man hands and feet and stop his babbling 
mouth ! 

(Speer grasps Ross in his powerful arms and several soldiers 
■assist Hub. and Fled, in binding his limbs and. gagging him.) 

Fled, (threatening) — Now vill you ope.v auf commando! 

Robt. — I see, Lieutenant Ross has turned bandit and prefers 
plundering citizens and women to his duty in the held. Men, 
your general hazards much on Ibis night, attack. Our regiment 
is a mile in advance on the way to Valley forge. The first man 
to disobey dies like the mutinous hound he is. — Forward! (Men 
file, out R.) . .Corporal Britt, you answer for these prisoners with 
your life ! Report to Col. Cook. 

Speer (saluting) — Yea. verily ! (Soldiers glance at him sus- 
jpiciously.) 

Rest, (in undertone to Robt. as he passes her) — Robert! — 
Oil*— Is it true? 



34 

Robt. {likewise) — I may do this much for ray friends. — 
Long live King George! (Exit Robt.; Cidp., who Jias been ob- 
serving events silently, follows.) 

Speer — Make haste, Huber, Jokel ! (They cut the cords 
that bind the prisoners.) British uniforms in yonder room for 
all. Into them, and we'll march you by a well laid plan to the 
American lines and surrender. 

(Exeunt men, except Von D. and Speer.) 

Von D. — Is it. thou, nephew Speer ? 

Speer — It is. Come with us. "We have a conveyance for 
Hester. 

Von D. — Is our deliverer Tory or patriot? 

Speer — He serveth the King. 

Von D. — I shall not accept his aid. — We have our own means 
of escape. 

(Re-enter Hub. with List, in his arms, her forehead, covered 
with blood. Nina, lamenting, follows.) 

Hub. — The brutes struck her down as she resisted their 
entrance. Had I or any man been there, whoever did this should 
not be living to tell of it. 

Hest. — Listie, sweet Listie, what have they done to thee!" 

List, (coming to) — Hester, they shall not lead thee and thy 
father to the scaffold. 

Hest. — Be calm, Listie, they are gone. 

Hub. (aside to Speer) — 1 lay off this uniform and remain in 
the city till I see these women safe. 

Speer — My wife is at Bethlehem at the army hospitals. 
Brins them there. 

Hub.—] shall. 

(Re-enter Fled, and the fugitives in British uniforms and 
with heavy mustaches in Hessian style attached.) 

Fled. — Now rememper, no more "tee" oont "tou** oont 
"friend" so-oont-so but " donnervetter ! " oont "Hercooless!"; 
oont don't for your life, pull dose creased Hessian mustaches off 
your noses. Der votchvord iss : "Der United Kingdom !" It's 
nonsense, but don't forgot it! 

Speer — Friend Jokel, who's the extra man in line? (indi- 
cating.) 

Fled. — Excoose me, der young man mit der long coat oont 
der hazelnut eyes oont der plushing face iss a Irish girl, Nency. 
(Nancy salutes.) 

Speer — Thou ait responsible for her. — Forward! 

Von I). — God speed! 

(Men- — all but Von D. and Hub. — and Nan march out. In 
passing, they pick up Ross and bear him along with them.) 

Hest. (to Hnb.) — Dost thou remain? 

Hub. — By my own choice, not by the Captain's orders. 

Hest. — Then do thou bear Listie to my room. I shall follow- 



35 

(Exit. Hub. L. d bearing Listie.) 

Nan. — Mars Von Doan, what is you all gwine ter do? 

Von D. — Go to the kitchen, Nina, and gather a day's pro- 
visions for five. Wait for us and have no fear. (Exit Nina. 
Von D.,as awakening to a dreadful reality, approaches the pros- 
trate form of Low. and pressing his hand to his forehead, gazes 
intently at him.) Hester, Hester, what have 1 done!— All my 
life was set against this deed, and now in a moment of the tri- 
umph of the powers of darkness 'tis accomplished, the crime of 
crimes for one of our faith — taking human life ! these times 
of dissolution, these days of madness, driving all flesh to perdi- 
tion! — Tobias, faithless, unhappy Tobias! 

Ilest. (kneeling down beside Low. and placing her hand, on 
his heart) — Father, he lives. See, he begins to breathe. The 
wound is in the shoulder and not in a vital part. 

Von D. (kneeling and gently raising Low.'s head) — Then 
there is hope. Thank God! 

Hcst. — But Robert, to whom we owe our rescue — what of 
him? — If 'tis true, he's a spy, I tremble for him tonight! 

Von D. (looking up and pondering) — Yea — Robert — what 
of him? — If he's honorable, either he remains out there tonight,, 
among the dead, or we meet him tomorrow, beyond the lines! 

(Curtain.) 



ACT III. 

SdENB I. 

Time — Several weeks after events of Act II. 
Scene — Before the old Sun Inn at Bethlehem, Pa. Main en- 
trance to inn at center. — Army wagons, cannon and ambu- 
lances standing about an street. — During scene, officers and 
civilians from time to time enter and leave inn, and soldiers 
carry wounded to hospitals and dead out for interment. 
Music of trombones and, string-instruments heard within tav- 
ern. In distance, at intervals, faint music of organs, and 
mate and, female voices singing hymns and folk-songs. — Dis- 
covered, Stoffel, unpacking provisions from a provision- 
wagon and handing them to Hope Speer, who is in the quaint 
costume of Moravian Sisters. 

Stof. — Yah, yah. vat would Vashington's skin oont pones 
army do mitout. uss Pennsylvanec oont New Chersey bumpkins? 
It vould be intisible at forty yards mit a shpyklass, dot's vot it 
vould. They didn't took me in der army, because 1 can't see 
shtraight, but 1 raise der shtoff on mine farm vat keeps der ploot 
in circumference in a soltsher. Ve used to exshport to der Vesht 
Indies oont Shpain; but now, vot der Pritisher didn't shteal goes 
to Valley Forge oont der nortern army. So betveen dose vat 



tight oont dose vat iss skvint-eyed oont vossn't allowed, oont dose 
vat got relitchus shkruples oont refuse, ve voss all getting our 
little share of diss var bitsness. 

Hope. — Yea, all doing our part that the horrors may be 
relieved, and the despot in Britain cease to rule. — Have you seen 
my sister? 

Stof. — Vi'ch Von? — Der ladies iss all called "sister" in diss 
Morafian town. 

Hope — I mean my father's other daughter, Listie. 

Stof. — I tshoost saw her in der hospital, mit your cousin — 
here she iss coming. She vill helf you take dese dinks to der 
shtuart. 

(Siof. takes up two baskets and carries them into inn. En- 
ter R. soldiers carrying a covered litter, followed by List., weep- 
ing. — Soldiers pass on L.) 

Hope — Who is it, sister Listie ? 

List, {looking after passing litter) — A Lieutenant, just be- 
yond his teens. A shell mangled him pitifully. They bury him 
with his comrades in the long trench. — He gave me a miniature 
of his lady-love and a message to her and his mother, up in the 
White Mountains. 

nope.— Listie, h'ow pale! Thou art but just convalescent 
from thine own hurts, and not equal to the strain of this army 
hospital work. 

Listie — Yea, I can and will bear it. We who will not kill 
and wound shall bear to see and relieve the suffering others 
inflict. 

Hope — They have given us the hardest task. The man in 
the ranks hath not seen these horrors of the aftermath. 

List. — Hush ! — Yonder they take a wagon-load of amputated 
arms and legs out for burial! and how soon many of the poor 
-bodies will follow ! — Hundreds dying from wounds and fever in 
the crowded rooms, in spite of all that can be done! 

( Enter Fledermaus. ) 

Fled. — Sheer up, sheer up, mine Gvaker sisters! For in- 
stance — exeoose me — do I look like a deat vone? 

Hope— Nay, though I heard thou wert shot. 

Fled. — Only a scratch, trough der middle of der foot! In 
von veek T will be again on der marsh mit der rechiment. But 
iiow dit mine little blond lady (to Listie) get here mit der poor, 
poor little head broke mit der gun of dot deffiled lobster? 

List. — I was able to travel that night. We escaped as 
Tndians. 

■Fled. — You — exeoose me, ton mit der vite skin, oont flax 
nair, tou pass for a Indian? Ver der pickets oont der vldettes 
•trunk mit vixkey ? 

List. — Nay, we painted our faces and dyed our hair, Hester 
and I, and wore beaded blankets, and Uncle Von Dora and Mr. 



37 

Huber, knowing the langiiage and manner of the Delawares and 
having pass-ports, got us through the lines without accidents. 

Fled.. — Vere did ton leaf der plaek girl rait der fine ooni- 
t'orm on it? 

List. — With friends. — The uniform I hid and brought in 
my bundle. 

Fled. — Anybody vearing it? 

List, (saluting) — Yea! Lieutenant Curt Huber, now at the 
front, and it fits him as a mane fits a lion! 

Hope.— Doth she make herself understood'.' 

Fled — Faintly! Tshust der vay Nency sh peaks of me, — 
T n loff, in loff — Veil, I hope der uniform don't come back empty. 
{List, starts) Excoose me, little Gvaker lady, 1 did not mean 
to scare tee, but shoost to say dot a deat hero is no use to a maid 
except as a club ofer a later hoseband. — I hope dot Lieutenant 
comes back by .you mit der ooniform oont much klory ! 

List. — May it be so! 

Fled. (Jo Hope) — Vere iss your hoseband? 

Hope. — Gone with the heavy artillery 

Fled. — Koodness! Jezt hoert aber alles auf ! A Gvaker kan- 
rionier! Now ve vill hear of Gvaker guns vat shoot! He helped 
safe me in Philadelphee. God pless him! 

Hope — And keep him ! Come, Listie, these provisions must 
to the hospital. 

(Exeunt R. Hope and List., carrying bundles. Enter from 
inn Culp.) 

Fled. — Here iss dot shoe-tailor. Wie geht's, Herr Kohl- 
pfeffer? 

Cidp.— Hello, Dutch ! 

Fled. — Dot's me, iff you don't know no better. — In Phila- 
delphee dey sait you voss crazy in your prains. 

Gulp.-— Did they. 

Fled.- — Are you so yet? 

Culp. — Not yet so! 

Fled. — Please don't go dot vay in diss loffly town. Ach„ 
Mr. Kohlpfeffer, diss must haff peen von paradise town before 
der var. Moosie, moosic eferyvere, mit der organs, fiddles, trom- 
bones, spinuets ooud voices ; oond eferybody shpeaks mine lang- 
vieh. Oont dot orchestra! Excoose me: Did you hear yet of 
dot new composition by Herrn Buettner? 

Culp. — Not yet already! 

Fled. — hi von minute you will hear us decompose it on der 
trombone ! 

t'nl p. — Co to it! 

(Exit Fied. /.'. — Enter L. Huxley, dressed as hunter as in- 
first act.) 

Huxl. — Win- here you are, Demosthenes Culpeper, and I 
was told the British had discovered the rat-hole in your cellar 



38 

and baraged you to a lamp post! 

Gulp. — Friend Bartholomew Huxley, praised be the alibi, 
particularly the alibi I can prove me to that hanging! And tell 
me, my beloved, what manner of an alibi aftbrdeth one more 
profound satisfaction than an incontravertiMy proven alibi to 
ones own hanging? Philanthropist that I am. I furnished the 
King's hangmen the glad anticipation, but qualified philanthrop- 
ist that I am, I was not unqualifiedly sorry to disappoint them. 
(Begins to laugh. ) 

Huxl. — Sober disciple of Dr. Franklin, bow can you laugh 
amid the horrors of this military hospital camp ? 

Culp. — Even therefore, for fear of going the madhouse way. 
Think of it : to pinch one's self, to nudge one's self, and find one's 
aelf alive after one's own officially published execution! I will 
laugh! (laughs louder.) 

Huxl. — Hush, mouthy old River Nile ! Your role of lunatic 
ii out of order beyond the enemy's zone. Tell me, is dinner 
ready at the inn ? 

Culp. — Ever know the hour of day or night when dinner 
was not ready at this inter-colonial halfway-house of the unlim- 
ited larder? Listen to the wine list the keeper recites today: 
(counts on his fingers) Madeira, Teneriff, White Lisbon, West 
India Rum, as old as your great grand — 

Huxl. — Jump off, reprobate, and tempt not a scout in nee4 
of his wits. — What guests have been at the inn of late? 

Culp. — A Chinaman might overtax his memory, but among 
the too-notehcrs I might mention: the two arch-rebels, Sammie 
and John Adams, Dick Harry Lee and other Congressmen, insur- 
rectos and notables, Baron de Kalb, our own dear Georgie Wash- 
ington, a smart smattering of greater and lesser American officers 
on duty and furlough and of British officers under guard and on 
Dftrnlo.j and last but not least, recovering from his wounds of the 
Brandywine, our noble and illustrious friend, Marie Jean Paul 
Roeh Joseph Gilbert Motier, Marquis de la Fayette (beartimn 
time.) 

Huxl. — You may take a breath ! — Is the young Count 
afflicted with all that? 

Culp. — For the simple purpose of identiiieation, mon cher; 
and now thou knowest why a single shot (not beiug grape shot) 
at that battle killed not the good man. Indeed the nine-lived 
Cat is a tender bud compared with a European nobleman ! — But 
now to the most important guest of the present hour: He is iat 
yonder suite of rooms with several officers of our star-spangled, 
bramble- frazzled army, being plied with FreueU wine and Dutch 
mu&ic. Guess him, if you <?an, 

HwL — I can not. 

Culp. — -Tobias Lowerman, disguised in woman's clotkes! 



39 

Huxl. — What say yoa ? 

Culp. — I say what I say. A petti coated, sugar-coated rival 
to you and me and the Captain in the spying profession. Did 
you think we had a monopoly of it? 

Huxl. — I thought the old Quaker shot the dog dead. 

Culp.— -'Twaa a. Quaker shot, and he healed up like an angle- 
worm, and before you eould count your fingers and toes the 
attraction of this place got the better of his cowardice and he 
risked a jaunt over here in skirts. 

Huxl. — And was taken? 

Culp. — He was. 

Huxl. — Then he'll be hanged as a spy. 

Culp. — Hanged not. at all. — Belligerents hang spies for a 
purpose. The officers here recognize no purpose in hanging this 
flopper, and he'll not. be exalted among the martyrs of this epoch. 
They offer him his liberty on condition that he return to Sir 
William HoWe and misinform him concerning the position and 
condition of our army. 

Huxl. — And of course he accepted in a minute, to save his 
neck. The lucky dog! Had I been in the council, I might have 
sacrificed the advantage of his service to my animal .passion for 
vangeance. 

Culp. — Shall 1 tell you more news — sad news" Captain 
Paul lies between life and death in yonder hospital, and Hester 
Von Dorn and her friends have succeeded so far in preventing 
his identification by the officers, to save him the fate of a 
deserter, which he is still reputed to be in the army, while you 
and I are still bound, by the General's orders, to support that 
supposition. Lowerman learned of his whereabouts. Trust him 
to have the captain either shot by his countrymen or exchanged 
oy some trick and executed* as a spyby the British. — Listen! 

Huxl. — Behind this army wagon with you. 

(They step behind one of the wagons.. .Enter from inn, Low- 
erman, disguised as a huckster woman, with Colonel Fish and 
Major Simmons.) 

Col. F. — For one whose life was clearly forfeited to his 
country betrayed, Mr. Lowerman, I think you have had good 
"treatment, have you not? 

Law. — Most excellent, most generous, most compassionate, 
beyond all hope. — How may I ever show my gratitude for the gift 
of my life, and all this — all this — 

Maj. 8. — The roast pigeon and Burgundy and the Mora- 
vian lager-beer, you would say! 

Law. — Exactly, exactly, sir, and all these — 

Col. F. — Never mind all these. Show your gratitude by 
conveying to General How these misleading reports concerning 
^ur forces. You kave his Excellency's own assurance thai ia 



40 

case of your faithful performance your property shall be secured 
to you and you receive absolute amnesty on our re-occupation of 
Philadelphia, which will be, as we hope to have convinced you, 
in a very short time. 

Low.- — Ye have convinced me of that and the absolute justice 
of the American cause, and as an American patriot henceforth Z 
obey your commands. — But before 1 set out, even as a proof of 
nay patriotism, I have important, information to impart. 

Col. F.~ Well? 

Low. — In yonder house of the Moravian Brethren, now your 
— I mean to say our military hospital, lies, unknown to anyone 
but his immediate friends and sympathizers, a notorious deserter 
from the American army, taken in the act of fighting his own 
countrymen : Captain Robert Paul, lately of the Pennsylvania 
Line. 

The fiieers. —Captain Paul ! 

Low.— I passed through the ward in this disguise and recog- 
nized him beyond doubt. His identity has ben cleverly kept a 
secret. 

Col. F. (to Low.) — •You shall lead us to him. His re-capture 
goes to your credit. 

Maj. S. — Shooting is a compliment for that dog! 

Low. — Listen to me, I beg of you. You've been wise in spar- 
ing my life, that 1 might serve the United Colonies. Now I have 
the assurance of some in authority at Philadelphia that they 
would exchange a most excellent and gallant Captain Crosby, 
well known to you, now in a pestilent prison, for this worthless 
deserter. Would you not, gentlemen, do wisely to accept such 
an offer and overcome your resentement ? 

Col. F. (gruffly) — Leave that to us. 

Low. — I have even a better offer from the same source: a 
ransom of 500 pounds sterling for his release and safe trans- 
portation to Howe's lines. 

Maj. S. — Must have made himself valuable indeed to the 
King! 

Col. F.—We accept neither exchange nor ransom. Lead us 
to him. 

Low. — I beg your indulgence, gentlemen, but my appear- 
ance in the hospital with you on this occasion would but render 
my execution of your orders in secret more difficult. You will 
find him. as I live, in ward 5. You have promised me an escort 
to the British lines. 

Col. F. — Our scout, Huxley, whom we expect here any 
moment. 

Huxley (.stepping out from behind wagon and saluting) — 
At your service, gentlemen. 

Maj S. — Evesdropping, Huxley '! 



41 

Huxl. — The privilege of my branch oi' the service. 

Culp. (ako stepping forward) — The "woman" there — par- 
don me, t?i" "lady," freaks the truth. Captain Paul, the 
deserter, lies wounded in ward No. 5, and I offer to give you the 
details of his capture and conduct you to his berth. 

Law (aside) — It shall serve no purpose! of his. He dare 
not speak. 

Col. F. — Very well. — Huxley, you overheard our conversa- 
tion ? 

Huxl— I did. 

Cot. F. — Conduct this uian safely to the British lines. 

Huxl. (aside to Culp.) — It will take all the self-control I 
can summon not to break his bones myself. (To officers:) I 
vouch for the ' ' fair one " ! (To Low. : ) Come, ' ' madam, ' ' follow 
me. 

Low. {to officers) — Gentlemen, would you kindly loan me 
some men's apparel? 

Hux. (aside, chuckling, to Cidp.) — lie's afraid of compro- 
mising me ! 

Col. F. — Sorry sir, the commissariat has issued its last pair 
of breeches. 

Culp. — And the commissariat, I'm informed, sir, issues them 
only to men ! 

Low. (aside to (Jul p., in passing.) — Damned, ubiquitous, 
meddling cobbler! (steps to Col. F. and hands him sealed paper.) 
The proposals for the Captain's release, under seal. My last 
services to the British. 

Col. F. — You may leave them. 

(The officers converse with Low.) 

Culp. (aside lo Huxley) — The snake is shrewd in proposing 
the exchange. It strengthens the accepted belief in the Cap- 
tain's treason, in case it is brought 1o question, and if Robert is 
not shot by those in command here before the Commander-ia- 
Chief is informed, the latter might accept the exchange, expect- 
ing further secret sendees from the Captain, arid not being 
informed of Lowerman's and Howe's knowledge and design. 
The Captain would obey orders without a word, and 1 dare not 
interfere even to save his neck, unless I could gain access to 
Washington himself. That I shall desperately try to do, and 
meanwhile to delay the proceedings of these officers. 

Huxl. — I shall hasten back to second you. Eat my dinner 
for me! 

Col. F. (to Huxl.) — Take your man. 

(Exeunt Huxl. and Low.) 

Col. F. — Now tell us, old man, how and where was this 
deserter taken? 

Culp. — He was not taken in actual battle against us but was 



42 

found by our scouts beyond the tiring-line of the recent night- 
attack on our outposts. 

Maj. 8. — Then how was he wounded? 

Gulp. — Presumably by his own men. 

Col. F. — His own men? On what provocation? 

Culp. — What should I know of it? — Perchance some per- 
sonal grudge. 

Col. F. — Well, 'tis immaterial. We'll make short work of 
him. — Wait here till you are called. 

{Exeunt officers into inn.) 

Culp. — Thanks for that, my dears! — Here's my chance. — 
Something must be done, and that quickly, or a good man will 
be done to death while a knave escapes. "If thou hast some- 
what to do tomorrow, do it today," says poor Dick. {Calls to R.) 
— Oho! — Hear, hear, my clear! Koram her zu mir! 

{Enter R. Nancy Maclay.) 

Culp. — Mein liebes Fraeulein Maclay ! — Have you ever heard 
that before? 

Nan. — pshaw, dad! 

Culp. — A thousand handsome, dashing patriotesses like you, 
andj King George would lose an army and despair for recruits! 

Nan. — Thank .you. 

Culp. — You're as true as Mt. Hope steel, 

Nan. — 1 hope so. 

Culp. — Ma'm'selle Maclay, you are in love. 

Nan. — I stand convicted — but you're not the man. 

Culp. — Unfortunately not, but it happens I'm a friend o' 
the man who saved thy melodious lover's life. 

Nan. — Who's he? 

Culp. — You know not that the British officer who led Joke! 
from prison was Captain Paul in disguise, loader in the plot to 
free him and the other prisoners. 

Nan. — I knew it not, 

Culp. — Hush! promise me solemnly you will tell no one. 

Nan. — Solemnly I do. 

Culp. — Then listen: This benefactor of Herr Fledermaus is 
in yonder hospital, in danger of his life. In fact, his life 
depends on a swift message to General Washington at Valley 
Forge. Go get thy bugler at once. 

Nan. — He cannot take the message. His wound is not 
healed. 

Culp. — He must. 

Nan. — He must. not. I shall take it. 

Culp.— You? . 

Nan. — I can ride the fastest horse in the Colonies. 
; — Culp. — Can you get one? "*-*! 

! Nan. — I will! There's one yonder uuder saddle. : 7 . 



43 

Gulp. — Do you know the ferries and fords? 

Nan. — I do. 

Culp. — Do you fear Tory ru$ans on the highway? 

Nan. — I marched to this town in uniform. Give me those 
pistols, man of peace ! 

(Culp. unbuckles belt containing two pistols and ammuni- 
tion. She takes it and puts it on.) 

Culp. — One moment. (Takes out slip of parchment and 
writes:) "To His Excellency: — Captain Paul at Bethlehem hos- 
pital, to be shot at daybreak if not succored. — Your obedient, 
everlastingly faithful servant, Demosthenes Culpeper." — Now 
bravest and fairest of Continental amazons, conceal this where 
*nO one may find it, ride for dear life to headquarters, demand 
admission to the Commander-in-Chief himself, flirt not with 
(Vomiflr Alex Hamilton, and his Excellency and a courier will do 
the rest. 

Nan. — I'll be that courier myself! (exit with a bound.) 

Culp. — What a daring gal this war has made of her! (En- 
ter Fled.) Just too late to say good bye. 

Fled. — Goot pye to vat? 

Culp. — Listen ! 

(Clatter of hoofs heard, rapidly growing fainter.) 

Fled. — Did you neffer hear a horse make a noise mit his 
feets before? 

Culp. — That's Fraeulein Maclay, taking a message to Gen- 
eral Washington, to save your friend, Captain Paul, from being 
shot in the morning. (Sings the last ivords.) 

Fled. — Oont you let her go, oont I am stooding here! 

Culp. — She said your wound would not permit you. 

Fled. — Mine vound fiddlesticks! mine prafe Irisk 
prachtsmaedel, vat will happen mit you! A horse! a horse! 

Culp. — A camel! a jackass! You can't catch her with the 
best horse in the army, and besides, you are needed here. 

Fled.— For vat ?' 

Culp. — Tn the first place, swear you will keep this secret. 

Fled. — I vill not let it out till hell freezes ofer. 

Culp. — That will answer. — Now the idea is to entertain tke 
officers in yonder inn so as to delay their actions regarding tile 
Captain. They are fatigued by army duties and/ fond of music 
and jests. Now Fm a long-winded joker and you're a swift- 
winded blower, and between us we'll hold these men to their 
wine and grouse long enough to give sweetest little Nancy (nv dy- 
ing Fled.) a chance to go and come before 'tis too late. 

Fl-ed. — Go aheat. I vill spiel mine spiel. 

Culp. — Where is .your bugle? 

Fl-ed. (talcing it from beneath Ms coat) — Present! Here she 
ids. 



44 

Culp. — 1 heard that the night of your night from Philadel- 
phia you blew a wild medley of false signals, confused the Brit- 
ish raiders, helped defeat them, and affected the escape of your 
disguised fugitives. 

Fled. — Dot's me ! I got dem so guessing dot dey eoult not 
tell der retreat from der adfance by der front from der rear to 
der centre of der middle of both flanks. 

Culp. — Can you illustrate all that technicality to the offi- 
cers ? 

FUd. — Vy can't 1? — For instance- — exeoose me, haff some 
schnnpftab&k (offers snuff) — here comes a compagnie of grena- 
diers up ofer der hill on der doppel quick, mit der bayonettfc 
shparkling in der vind, oont presto! 1 takes up mine poogle oont 
fort issimo ! sforzando ! I — (btews 'retreat) oont der grenadiers 
right aJbout face (suits actio-n to words and whirls hands to indi- 
cate precipitous ret rent) into a Yengee ambush! 

Culp. — You're it! Keep that up when we're inside and 
I'll furnish the comments. — But keep the Captain out of the 
ga.me. — Psh ! (Maj. 8. opens inn door.) 

Maj S. — Come in.— Who's that noisy fellow? 

Culp. — My friend, Herr Fledermaus. He has important 
information from the front. 

Fled. — Oont from der rear of der left center of der right 
fiank retreating frontwards from der middle on der doppel quick. 
For instance — Vill you allow me? — (Offers Major snuff.) 
Here's gesundheit oont lipperty ! 

Culp. (patting Fled, on back as they enter) — Pardon, Major, 
he is .iust winding himself up. A cup of Manzanilla will touch 
him off. Astounding strategic revelations, Major! — (Aside) — 
God speed that giii ! (All three take snuff, sneeze and exeunt 
into inn.) 

(Curtain.) 



SCENE 11. 
Scene — Medicine room in inferior of Community house of Mora- 
vian brethren at Bethlehem, converted into American mili- 
tary hospital. Room separated from adjoining ward by 
rude partition. Wide door at center with ''Ward 5" on 
lintels. Smaller door U. L.. Center door affords view up 
center isle of dimly lighted ward and along ends of two 
roll's of army cots. Nurses of Moravian sisierlwod and 
eirmy surgeons seen in attendance. Disc<jvcrcd in Med. 
room, seated at table L., Dr. Benjamin Keller, preparing 
medicines. Sister Judith Elder, Listie and Hope assisting 
him. At small table R. C. Hester in costume of Moravian 
nurses, discovered asleep, tier head resting on her arm. A 



45 

crude curtain obscures entire U. E. corner of room, which 

is but dimly lighted by smaU tamp on the. doctor's table. 

Dr. K. — We may be prepared for a restless night. All fever 
eases aggravated, and the mortality unusually great, in all the 
wards. (Turning to Hester) — Sister, how is our Captain this 
evening? 

List. — Hester heareth thee not. She's asleep from sheer 
exhaustion. Sister Judith. Hope, and 1 many times offered to 
relieve her,, but she will not listen to advice. Doctor, wilt not 
order her away to bed ? Should the fever attack her in" her con- 
dition, she would not last a day. 

Dr. K. — I may need do so. — Has our patient spoken any 
today ? 

List — Only an occasional incoherent, utterance. He hath 
never yet spoken intelligibly. 

Dr. K. — This may be a critical night for him. Should he 
become violent, it behooves us to be doubly vigilant, or the secret 
of his identity will be out and both patient and we suffer the 
consequences. — Here is the potion (handing it to List.) 

List. — She will permit no one but herself to give him a drop 
of anything. Shall I wake her" 

Dr. K. — In half an hour. — Sister Judith, ask Bishop Ettwein 
bid the sisters sing hymns, by request of some of the patients. 

Jud. — Any particular hymn? 

Dr. K. — Let him choose. 

(Exit. Jud.) 

Dr. K. — Sister Hope, do. you feel strong for this night's 
ordeal ? 

Hope — I shall fortify myself for it. Thou knowest how the 
sight of these mangled bodies reminds me of the danger to which 
my cannonier husband is subjected. 

Dr. K. — Be of good cheer. — 'Tis time we were making the 
rounds. Will you bring these? (handing her part of the prep- 
arations and bandages. — Exeunt Dr. K. and Hope.) 

List, (approaching Best.) — I know she is dream iug, dream- 
ing of him and the dangers that surround him. Only of tho 
dangers, for she tells me 'tis then the odium that rests on him 
never comes to her mind; and she believes in the prophecy of 
these dreams. 

(Voice from behind curtain calls faintly: "Hester!") 

Hest. (starling up) — Did someone call me? — Listie, was it 
not his voice? 

List. — It must have been thy fancy. — The doctor bids thee 
give him this potion. And there's news as to the. mission of thy 
father. He was sent under a flag of truce to General Clinton in 
.New York and is expected back this evening. 

Hest. — I'm grateful to hear it, for I often feel desolate, 



4:6 

these anxious days, without his presence and advice. Dost thou 
remain with me? 

List — Tis my hour on duty. Do thou administer to thy 
patient, and a good night to thee till 1 return. 

(Exit List. — Hester arises and slowly draws back the cur- 
tain U. R. — Discovered on. a rude cot Robert Paul, pale cmd in 
state of unconsciousness ; bandages about head and arm.) 

Hest. (kneeling at foot of bed and studying his features earn- 
estly.) — How long, how long to wait! — 1 never quite believed it 
and will not believe it now. Not a line of treachery or weak- 
ness in those features, and never was such a trait in his heart. 
There's some self-sacrifice beyond that of the soldier hidden 
here. But for the lack of a word, I might comprehend it. — 
Will he ever awake, to be vindicated ? O Robert, shall I ever be 
permitted to tell thee that I love thee ! 

(Drops her head on edge of bed. Organ heard, apparently 
in adjoining building, and sisters singing a requiem.) 

Robt. (faintly, with closed eyes, as from a dream) — Hester! 

Hest. — joy, he speaks audibly at last ! — I am here, Robert, 
here, watching over thee. Speak again, Robert, speak to me. 

(A long pause. Bugle-call and roll of drum heard with- 
out.) 

Robt. — The long roll! : — Sound boots and saddles! Long live 
the King! (laughs derisively) Long live the King! 

Hest. — (wringing her hands) — the despair of it! — Is it 
madness after all? 

Robt. — Huxley, Huxley! Here's to the King — Old King 
Cole and young King Cong! — Here, Huxley: General Clinton's 
plans. 1 ferreted them out as a thief steals the secret to your 
treasure. — Now to Philadelphia! Faster, faster, old Bucepha- 
lus! There's where they've carried the banner in triumph. 
'Twas taken from my color-bearer in the battle of the fog at 
Oermantown. — She wove my heart into it, if not her own; she 
spun my honor into it, and that's lost till I've recaptured and 
returned it ! — Faster, faster ! 

Hest.— What do 1 hear! 

Robt. — A dead British officer, a desparate chance. Must I 
profit by a felon's deed? Ho, ho, a British command without a 
commission ! — Faster, faster ! 

Hest.— Ah! 

Robt. — They've gone, the desecrators, the dancers at the 
feast of the tyrant. — There, there, on the tinseled walls — the 
precious trophy ! Every star and stripe a smile, a frown of mys- 
tery ! — Tell me, stars in the blue, know you the secret? — She 
loves me, she loves me not — 'tis an uneven number — she loveflr 
me ! — Deceive me not, oracle ! — Come to my bosom, silken treas- 
ure! — We are safe, the doors bolted — into my great coat with 



47 

you! — There, there, I have sewed you snugly beneath the lin- 
ing (laughing.) . .Bravo, mother, what a master tailor love has 
made of your son ! — My life between this banner and the enemy 
now! 

Hest. — The solution ! 

Bobt. — Huxley, Culpeper, I tire of this royalist drivel. — 
How these plumed gentlemen, these eoxeombs in broadcloth and 
regimentals delude our people with gibberish, how they deery 
the real issues with their royalist cant! — I like not this secret 
work of ours, but it must be done. Poor Nathan Hale obeyed 
the call. Strategem for strategem, or there may not be a repub- 
lic! — All's fair, all's fair in war, do you hear? (laughs ironi- 
cally.) — One moment's relief — one memory. — Know you the 
sweet temper of the Quaker maid I adore? — Say not she has 
abandoned me for the traitor I'm branded. — Ah, Huxley, I can. 
look this ignomenious death of a spy in the face, but that thought 
unwings, that unmans me! 

llest. — Robert ! My own Robert again ! — I am with thee ! I 
know of thy fidelity ! 

Bobt. (with gesture of hand as if resting it on the head of a 
child.) — On your way to the manor-house, little girl? — I may 
not send a greeting, but here, you may wear her flower. She'll 
not wear it from me, the traitor. So there, and there's a kiss for 
you, and one for her, God bless her. — she would deny it me, but 
you will not. There, don't cry. Do I look so pitiable? — Hux- 
ley, is my hair turning gray? 

Hest. — Robert, will you not hear? See, see, thy love is 
here to reassure thee ! 

Bobt. — Very well, Culpeper; the tunnel — the prison-deliv- 
ery — my faithful bugler in solitary cell — we must act quickly ! 
(He relapses and lies motionless for a few moments. Hester gets 
the potion, gently raises his head and, presses the cup to his lips. 
— After a pause:) . .1 feared it, and it has come. She is in dan- 
ger. Huber, Speer, Culpeper, tonight! is the time — and bring 
the bugler. — He shall puzzle the red-coats. — -I tell you, keep your 
eyes on that sham Quaker, Lowerman. I speak not from jeal- 
ousy, though jealous I am, for T love her and will save her and 
my friend, her father. (Another pause. Hester has taken his 
hand, hisses it and, buries her face in it.) . .Forward in the name 
of the King! What sport to command troops of George III.! — 
We're well on the way — she follows in the care of my secret lieu- 
tenants. Hear my bugler blowing the false signals! — Bravo, 
Jokel! — And, joy! her silken banner hera about my heart, 
invisible to my redcoat band, a charm to preserve my life till T 
return the emblem to my regiment and to her! O rapture, a 
token of my fidelity and honor to her! — Right about face! The 
rebels hi the thicket on yonder ridge! — Are you blind? I say ; 



43 

the uniforms are blue, not red ! -Ha, Ha ! Now Britisher against 
Britisher ! Confusion and defeat. !— -My chance to escape !— Hear 
that bugle-call! Charge! — What, ye mutinous mercenaries of a 
tyrant, will ye fire on your own captain! — Ah, I'm done for! — 
But — Hester — I have kept my promise to you! — My lifeblood 
is on your — banner! (He has partly raised himself from the 
bolster but falls bach exltausied and still.) 

Best. — Thank God, the solution at last! (She has made an 
effort to embrace him, but relaxes helplessly and falls to floor in 
a swoon. The organ and the hymns heard again, then a disturb- 
ance in adjoining room.) 

Col. Fish (in commanding voice behind scene.) — No more 
dilly-dallying and protracting our search. I'll have you both 
in prison for tin's. Where's the Captain ? 

Culp. (behind seme) — Jfust have been carted out with the 
dead ones today. His name is not on the lists. 

{Enter Colonel Fish and Major Simmons, followed by Culp. 
and Fled.) 

Col. F. — Some clandestine work here to hide a military crim- 
inal. — Ho, ho, here's another patient. Who's this? 

Culp. — Private Alexander Smith of the 4th Massachusetts, 
according to the lists. 

Maj. S. — To hell with the lists! — We'll see for ourselves. 
(Approaches cot and sees Hester on the floor.) What's this? — 
A private room with a private attendant for a private soldier! 
(laughs.) Sounds well, but it's not the rule. I think we have 
our bird. 

Culp. — There are cots in every garret and closet, all occu- 
pied from the overflow. 

Col. F. — Lights here! Call an attendant to revive this 
nurse. 

Fled. — Exeoose me. I vill carry her to der nurse's chamber. 

Col. F. — No. you "vill" leave her right here, where we may 
hear her story. (Goes to door.) Here, sister, attend to this 
woman. 

(Enter Lislie. Tries to conceal her alarm. Administers 
restoratives to Hest. Culp. and Fled, aid her. While attending 
Hest., she whispers into her ear.) 

List. — Don't speak! Don't betray him! 

Hest. (reviving and not seeing officers)— I* Robert awake? 
— Has he told you all? — Listie, how happv I am! 

List.— Hush ! 

Col. F. — There we have it, and I recognise the features. 
(Shohes Eobt. rudely by shoulder.) Robert Paul of the Royal 
Provincial Guard, alias private Alexander Smith, wake up. 

Eobt. (opening his (yes and staring about him) — Where am 
I, Officer? 



40 

Col. F. — Back from the flesh-pots of Egypt, back among the 
ragged rebels, whom you betrayed for British gold, back to meet 
the death of a re-captured deserter before tomorrow's sun. 

Hest. {throwing herself between officer and Robt.) — Thou 
shalt not harm him. He is not a deserter, he is — , 

Robt. — I thank you, Hester, but you're misinformed. 

Culp. (aside to Hest.) — Hush! — Remember your promise. — 
The General's plans. — Wait. 

Col. F. (to Fled.) — Call in the guard. 

Fled. — Yah! (aside) — [ hear some foots, vat sound like a 
horse rnit a Irish girl on it. (Exit.) 

Col. F. (to Robt.) — Do you remember me? 

Robt. — Colonel Fiske. 

Col. F. — You shall be removed from here at onoe and make 
room for an honest soldier. Your hearing takes place tonight. 
The sooner the Colonies are rid of you, the better. 

Robt. — 1 make no plea in self-defense, Colonel Fiske, but ask 
>one favor. 

Col. /'.—Well? 

Robt. — That you permit me to send a sealed message to the 
•Commander-in-Chief and stay my execution till receipt of a 
reply. 

Col. F. — Unnecessary delay. His Excellency is overbur- 
dened with petty petitions. Our court martial has final jurisdic- 
tion here. (Enter guard) — Attention ! — Remove this man to my 
quarters and await orders. (Guard, approaches Robt.'s cot. — 
Enter Von- Horn.) 

Von 0.— My child ! 

Hest. — Father! (FUes to his arms. — Aside to him:) Tak- 
ing him to a drum-head trial and execution! He's General 
Washington's spy and true as gold. Revealed his story in his 
delirium. He was shot by the British soldiers under his com- 
mand. Save him, father! 

Von D. — I have hastened, myself, to bring thee proof of his 
integrity. (To guard) — Hold, friends! — Colonel Fiske, I am 
bat now on my return from a special mission from Washington 
to Clinton at New York, where I was informed by unquestionable 
authority that Captain Paul holdeth no commission in the 
British army as was accepted here, but that he hath, on the high- 
way between New York and Philadelphia, slain in ambush a cer- 
tain* Captain Robert Pane on his way to take command of a tory 
regiment sent to re-enforce Howe, and hath usurped his com- 
mand ; that before and since then he hath acted as a military spy 
and is now being sought by the British as a most desperate and 
dangerous enemy. 

Culp. (aside to Hest.) — Would 1 were free to corroborate 
the essence of his story. — Nay, silence, on your patriotism and 



50 

honor ! 

Col. F. — What proof have you that your statement is not 
an invention to save a culprit's neck? 

Von D. — None, but I shall have word of confirmation to thee 
from Valley Forge tomorrow. 

Col. F. (to Robt.) — "What have you to say to this? 

Robt. — The statement is false. 1 'm ready for the trial. 

Hest and Von D. — Robert! 

Huxl. — I'll swear 'tis false! 

Hest. — Perjurer ! 

Culp. — Only a piece of one. (Aside to Hcst and Von D.) 
— Not a word ! I conjure you ! 

(Enter Nancy Maclay, ivith disheveled, hair, mud-bespat- 
tered and ivith riding-whip in her hand, panting and leaning on 
Fled.'s arm, followed by Huxley.) 

Fled, (at first behind scene) — My vound, fiddlesticks! — I'm 
ashamed of mineself. — Veil, you done it better as I coult haff 
♦lit it, oon't here you come alretty, like a reserfe rechiment on der 
double quick, yust in time to safe der Kapitain. — Colonel Fix, 
1 introduce you mit a hero in petticoats, Nency ! 

Nan. — Slop your noise, Jokel. — Colonel, a message from 
General Washington. 

Hest.— Thank God ! 

Col. F. (breaks seal and. reads) — "To Col. Fiske in command 
at Bethlehem: — Captain Robert Paul, formerly of the 8th Penn- 
sylvania, is, for reasons that will appear later, to be accorded 
the rights of a prisoner of war and exchanged" (all start in sur- 
prise) "as soon as his condition permits transportation, for Cap- 
tain Crosby, now prisoner of the enemy at Philadelphia, as today 
arranged between our agents and those of General Howe. — Your 
obedient servant, Geo. Washington." 

Culp. (aside to Huxl.) — "Lady" Lowerman and her accom- 
plices have anticipated all possible events! There's a hard com- 
petitor. 

Husrt. (aside) — Anticipated indeed ! 1 abandoned the knave 
at the Delaware with no opportunity to commune with our com- 
mander. 

Von 1). — Your pardon, Colonel: General Washington is not 
informed of all the facts. He will reverse the decision. The 
Captain will not be fit to travel for several days. I ask no more 
than this delay. 

Col. F. — He knows the facts as I know them. Captain Paul, 
while temporarily in my command, was disciplined by me for an 
act of insubordination. His honor and fealty faded like a mist 
before his injured pride, and his desertion was a consequence oi' 
the punishment. Fie! 

Culp. (aside to Huxl.) — Colonel blockhead comprehended 



51 

not that insubordination was part of the game poor Bobby had 
to play, to afford a cause for his desertion ! 

Hest. — Colonel, the British will hang Captain Paul for 
espionage and alleged murder. If thou wilt not delay the 
exchange for his sake, wilt thou not for mine? If there be any 
crime or disgrace in this appeal, I shall gladly bear it all the 
days of my life. I ask it on my knees, Colonel ! 

Col. F. — The appointed exchanges take place at Trenton 
tomorrow. There are boats to transport the sick. The gallant 
officer available for this deserter may not be offered again. 
Patriotism not favoritism ! An incident of war and no case for 
a Quaker meeting! Have done with the matter! 

Fled, (aside)— Nency, dot vill neffer do, dot you made dot 
ride for noddings! Ve vill kidnap him on der way to der 
exchange-station. 

Hu.tl. (handing Robt. a scaled note) — A heavily bearded 
man handed me this as I entered. (Robt. op* as letter, and as he 
reads, his features assume an expression of utter hopelessness.) 

Culp. (aside to IIuxl. — Another anticipation ! 

Robt. (calmly ) — Very well. — Colonej Fiske. I beg to be 
transported to the British lines at once! Let no one, under 
any conditions intercede with the Commander-in-Chief in my 
behalf! — Hester, will you do me a favor? 

Hest. — What can I, what would I not do for thee ? 

Robt. — Make public inquiry for the sword I carried under 
Wayne. It may be found. Also take my greatcoat there (point- 
ing to British officer's coat which guard has taken from locker) 
and keep it till you have word concerning me. Then, and not 
till then, have it examined, and you'll tind an important message. 
Promise me, will you? 

II est. — I know the message! (Aside to Culp.) — The re-cap- 
tured banner concealed under the lining! — Robert, my love, thou 
must not, thou shalt not go! 

Robt. — Hester! — You! How sweet— life — might — (falls 
back on pillows in faint. Hest. snatches note from his hand, and 
reads it.) 

Hest. — horrors! — Colonel, thou wilt delay the exchange 
now ! Here, read this. (Hands note to Col F., who reads it, and 
It is features express a puzzled, surprise.) Ma".ce haste, father 
that letter to Valley Forge! — I remain here with Robert. 

Col. F. (calls to Major S. — An escort of four dragoons for 
the Quaker to Valley Forge! Mount guard at the entrance to* 
this room and ward till orders to/ remove ! Come Major. — A 
word with you, gentlemen. (To Von D., Culp., etc.) 

Culp. (very earnestly) —Colonel, I'm thankful that I drop- 
ped that bowl of hot punch at the inn and had to order another. 

Fled, (likewise) — Colonel, I am tank-full dot der hotel- 



52 

keeper lost his cork-screw in mine inside vaisteoat pocket for 
more as fifteen minutes. 

Col. F. — Out of here and be hanged to you ! 

Von D. (aside to Hest.) — Do thou care for hi in, child, till 
my return; but remember, the blood of the British officer is on 
bis head. 

Best. — There's no proof. 

(Exeunt all but guard at door, Listie, Hest. and Robt.) 

List. — What meaneth all this, Hester? 

Hest. — I will come to thee, Listie. 

(Exit Listie. — Hest. kneels at bed, lakes Robt.'s hand and 
presses her lips to it.) 

Robt. (awaking) — Hester, what bave you done! Call the 
•commandant! I say you shall! Back to the colors of King 
George! Do yon hear? I shall be exchanged ! \'>v King Ccorge, 
1 will! 

Hest. — Thou shall not make the supreme sacrifice. Thou 
art a prisoner here — and here! (pointing to the walls of the room 
iiii d pressing his hand to her heart.) 

(Curtain.) 



ACT. IV. 

Time — Autumn of J 783. 

Scene — Von Dom manor, as in Act I. Settee beneath tree L. F. 
Tinkling of bells from fields and shouting, cheering and 
firing salutes at intervals from distance. Enter L. Cut- 
peper, panting under weight of several dozen pairs of boot a 
and shoes, strung over his bail:, and shouldering huge, 
wooden leg. Drops into settee. 

Gulp. — The spoils of war! The kind that spoil not the 
spoiler! Ha, ha! — the 8th Pennsylvania regiment once more to 
be shod before disbanding, and the feat to be taken out of my 
patriotic hide! My last service on the hospital staff. Theu, O 
then, farewell, brave lads of the 8th, you who were unshod and 
now shall be shod, and you, alas, who were shot and can never 
be unshot! (affects tears). Poor King Congress has paid his 
good army in negotiable promises, and the boys have transferred 
to me each a canto of these fairy tales with confounded interest. 
— For trepannig this pair of lieutenant's riding boots, "I've the 
romantic promise of fifty acres of prairie-chicken farmland on 
the Missippi. My great-grandchildren shall brave the unknown 
-and market the eggs. — For skin-grafting on this gigantic pair of 
■corporal's seven-railers. the sweet assurance of four shillings in 



53 

specie, payable when our adolescent republic become* solvent*. 
Georgie 111. please indorse! — For reorganizing this unli inhered 
wooden leg of private Piker, who respected not the solid shot or* 
Comwallis's eaiuion at Yorktown, I'm the happy recipient of the 
promise of a peck of Continental dollar bills, in which my greats 
grandchildren may wrap aforesaid prairie-chicken eggs for 
market — But remember, Demosthenes, the saying of Poor Rich- 
ard: "He who lives upon hope, shall die fasting." Therefore 
resumed and resolved: Tis my last service, me lads! (takes out 
knife and begins to whittle wooden leg. Enter Nina in varie- 
gated dress.) 

Nina — Sakes alive, if dar ain't Mistah Culpepah, come all 
de way from Virgiuie. Mistah Cidpepah, how'd ye git heah? 

Cidp. — Walked, Nina. See the holes J wore into my shoes 
(displaying the whole bundle.) 

Nina — Mistah Culpepah, you don' mean to say you done 
w eared out all dem shoes? 

Gulp. — And was mighty careful at that. Tip-toed half the 
way. These were the times that tried men's soles, and mine were 
found wanting! — Whither in that rainbow dress, Nina? 

Nina — Ghvine down to de city to see de sojers come home. 
Don' you heah dem trumkets and dat shout in'? Dey's ten 
squah miles o' specked taters on Ches'nut street dis hya minute. 

Gulp. — Will you wade through those specked taters and 
-carry these shoes to my shop for me? Here's a shilling. 

Nina — 1 ain't totin' no shoes for nobody for no shillin' nor 
no guinea, nor nothin'! 

C u lp. — W b y n ot 1 

Nina — Jus' cause Mars Von Do'n done gib me ma freedom 
yestidee, an' I's a 'mancipated indiwid'yal, an' if \ any othah 
indiwidyal got sutin' ter tote, let him tote it hisself. 

Gulp. — Pardon me, Mistress Nina, then may I request you 
to accommodate an old friend of yours by depositing this aggre- 
gation of pedestrial apparel at my studio in the metropolis? I 
shall do my utmost to return the favor, I assure you — I reassure 
you ! 

Nina (bashfully) — Mistah Culpepah, Ah takes pleasyah in 
aeeommodatin' a jt-mman friend like you. Ah will conway de 
wearin' apparel, but Ah objects to dat dah wooden leg. 

Gulp. — Pardon me, Mistress Nina: there's luck in a wodde» 
leg, de-e-cidedly. Every family ought to have one on the mantle- 
piece. A rabbit's foot is infinte-e-simally less potent in convey- 
ing fe-elicity. 

Nina (quickly) — Ah consents to conwey de wooden leg! 
(Takes up entire bundle, slioulders wooden leg, curtseys gro- 
tesquely, and exit, as Gulp, boivs low.) 

Gulp. — My first sub-caliber experiment in United States 



54 

politics! Command a slave, but humor a freeman to make him 
your slave. I need the practice, for I've the promise of a seat 
in the legislature. Whether 't be to amend the laws o' the land 
or to mend the lowers of that august body, hath not been 
specified! 

(Enter R. Huxley.) 

Huxl.— Well, well! 

Gulp. — Ah, Huxley, back from Charleston! Say, how the 
■old earth has changed after live more years of war! Apropos, 
apropos: most honorable sir Bartholomew Huxley, lord high 
hearer of the royal backscratcher, most extravagantly, excruci- 
atingly noble and puissant peer Huxley, wilt vouchsafe to con- 
cede me a pinch of snuff? I did petition ditto at this very spot 
half a decade ago. Wilt please encores — once more — as before? 

Huxl. — Still in thy.belov'd role of ranting lunatic. — The 
war's over. 

Cut p. — Tut, tut, and wake up to the opportunities of these 
auspicious post-bellum times! Tell me, what are you, a royal 
ancestor, a privileged descendant or merely a citizen nonentity? 
I say, look up or improvise a pedigree, thou sloth ! Are you a 
knight of exalted honor or but a sweaty, shaggy, plebeian of ordi- 
nary vulgar respectability ? Are you — 

Huxl.— Vanish, I say — 

Gulp. — Interrupt me not. Have we not. In-other citizen, by 
force of arms just dethroned a splendid, scintillating, rosewater- 
anointed set of peers, and doth it not behoove us, that civilization 
be preserved, to rush into the boots of these ante-bellum, pump- 
kin-bellied nobles, affect their dignity, adopt their gentle vices, 
assume their uuapproachability, and superciliously set our tri- 
umphant heels upon the necks of our own unkempt, straw and 
hay-footed, not -worth-a-charge-of-the-King 's-dam-good-powder 
provincial former- selves? 

Huxl. (offering snuff) — Here, fill thy proboscis till it spouts 
brimstone and speak not so loudly of the devil, lest he overtake 
this virtuous young republic before her due time. 

Gulp, (sneezing extravagantly) — Ah, what a relief! I de- 
clare, Huxley, I've not sneezed so lustily since the Declaration 
of Independence! 

Huxl. — I'm honored to offer the provocative and may your 
propitious sneeze proclaim the birth of a tremendous epoch ! 

Gulp. — Most emphatically (sneezes louder than ever) 
brother Yank, and one in which we may luxuriate on our laurels, 
for now that we've broken one leg of the colossus of tyranny, 
will the Commons of England and the continent smash the other, 
while we take snuff and multiply. — Huxley, does not my musket- 
less war-record bear inspection? 

Huxl. — Not a flaw, Demosthenes. 



Culp. — Still I've one regret, oiie regret. Think of it: 
Arnold's treasonable letter to Clinton found in the heel of a 
boot of my making ! I declare, Bartholomew, had said boot con- 
veyed said message to its destination and said treason proven a 
serious damage to the United Colonies, the last that shaped that 
boot should have been the last last these patriotic hands had ever 
touched. — And yet have I wept over poor Major Andre, (wipes 
eyes) for he paid on delivery and threw in a shilling and six- 
pence for snuff. There be men among us today, unhanged, that 
would not have done as much. 

Uuxl. — A gentleman's dues and the penalty for us, who 
escaped the noose ! — By the way, Culpeper, you owe me a dinner 
you once ate for me at the Sun Inn at Bethlehem. 

Culp. — You're cordially invited to roast pig — at the Quak- 
ers! Here he comes to order up the pippins for the apple-sauce. 
(Enter Von Dorn.) 

Von D. — My friends — and may a Quaker say my companions 
in arms— welcome home ! — Huxley, I received thy missives. 
AVhere is Tobias ? 

(Huxl. gives shrill whistle. Enter two citizens leading, at 
point of pistols, Lowerman in woman's cloak, peruke and bonnet. 
He glances about nervously.) 

Culp. — Great-grandmother-in-law, o' the devil! 

Von D. — Tobias Lowerman! So bravely appareled! 

Huxl. — Picked him up in a shipwreck near Savannah, 
(pointing to dress.) His choice disguise, this time at my com- 
mand, against yonder mob he dreads. 

Culp. — Alas — and a pretty lass — (obeisance toward Low.) 
for our defunct gentry ! Get thee a pedigree and a petticoat, 
Bartholomew ! 

(Low., casting look of alarm in direction of shouting, R., 
flings away disguise, appears in uniform of British commissary 
officer, and assumes attitude of defiance.) 

Low. — Swine ! (gesture as if to dart at throat of Culp.) 

Huxl. — Citizen guard, present arms! 

(Citizens point pistols at Low.'s nose. He straightens up 
rigidly, with horrible grimace.) 

Culp. — Snuff a pinch o' saltpeter, Tobie! 

Huxl. — Friend Von Dorn, let's to the magistrate. Have 
you the letter ? 

(Enter L. Eobt. Paul in colonel's uniform. Low. c[uails.) 

Von D. — I have, Huxley, (going toward Eobt. and grasping 
his hand.) Colonel Paul! — Thy coming is most timely. (Huxl. 
salutes Itobt.) 

Culp. (ceremoniously) — Bobbie, here's Tobie! 

Bobt. (glaring at Low.) — Back to thy reckoning! 

Low. (again glancing about in direction of shouting, then 



56 

bracing up and facing Robt.) — Well? — Proceed! 

Von D. — Softly, softly! (to Robt.) . Here's a valued relic:: 
Lowernaan's letter to a wounded soldier at Bethlehem hospital. 
In five years we forget details. Tobias, before going to court, 
we'll revive our memories with thy self-indictment, {produces 
letter and reads:) "To Robert Paul:— This delivered by one 
of my paid and sworn assassins in disguise. — Accept proposed 
exchange without appeal to Washington, or the death you escape 
takes Hester and her father. My gold has accomplished this, and 
there's no escape. — I've lost the Yon Dorn inheritance. — Choose. 
I cease to have a choice. — Your avowed enemy to the last., Tobias 
Lowerman." (to Low.) This letter banded to friend Huxley that 
critical night. Had Robert, not fainted on his bed, he'd have de- 
stroyed it and died like a felon on the British gallows, to protect 
us. Thou knewest that. — Thy hired assassins were slain by our 
guards; and to thy present sorrow, through the miscarriage of 
thy plans thou didst miss thy chance to keep thine agreement, 
with the American officers and earn thine amnesty. 

Gulp. — Tobie, thou paidest too much for thy whistle and 
lostest thy whistle! (whistles.) 

Robt. {to Low.) — Once behind Quaker coats and gowns ; 
lately as commissary officer behind army baggage ; now as an un- 
armed criminal under arrest! "Will you always cheat me of ray 
opportunity ? 

Low. (with polite sarcasm) — Your honor, the Colonel, yon 
Quaker was not too magnanimous, on one occasion, to fire on an 
una i*med citizen. 

Robt. — To wound a cur with a band of ruffians at his "back! 

Low. (bowing) — Most honorable warrior and peace advo- 
cate! 

Robt. — Peace croaker and strife provoker! Of the kind that 
ever concoct wars and let others tight them! 

Low. — Champion of the law ! Murderer of a British officer! 

Robt. (furiously) — Author of that lie! Would-be assassin 
of an innocent woman ! What law can deal with such as you ! 
(unbuckles sword, and, hands it to one of guards, who stand 
aside. lit grapples with Low. Latter draws concealed dagger 
and makes lunge. Robt. avoids it, after sharp struggle gets pos- 
session of weapon, throws Low. to knees and stands over him 
brandishing dagger. During struggle enter U. R. Sheriff.) 

Yon D. —Robert!— No J 

Robt. (to Von D., after pause, his raised hand quivering 
with excitement of conflict within him) — i thank you! (throws 
away dagger.) Huxley, call the sheriff. 

(Low. rises. Guards close about him.) 

Sheriff (advancing) — The sheriff saves you the trouble. — 
Sir, a warrant from the justice, (hands Robt. warrant.) Officers 



57 

©J' his Majesty's ship, Maid of the Indies, now conferring with 
your general, had word of this man 's presence here, and, presum- 
ing him dispensible to his countrymen, request his extradition on 
charge of embezzlement and graver crimes committed as commis- 
sary officer at Charleston, where he evidently attempted to re-em- 
bnrse himself for his losses at Philadelphia. 

Robl. — He has a grave charge to answer here. How will 
they deal with him? 

Sher. — Trial in England and indenture to some freeman in 
the new penal colony, Australia. 

Robl.— Not the death penalty? 

Sher. — There's no profit to the King in hanging all these 
rascals. 

Robt. (to Van D.) — What say you? 

Von D. — Tobias — thy choice. 

how. {regaining his composure, haughtily:) Let me be 
trie.j by magistrates of the Crown and not by some barnyard trib- 
unal, let me be deported to savage subjects of his Majesty, rather 
than, trust my fate to the provincial rabble ruling this ephemeral 
republic ! 

Robt. — Welcome to your preference, noble friend! 

(Sheriff, Robt. and Von D. converse. Guards menace Low- 

Culp. (who has picked up dagger and stuck it through his 
hat — to Huxl.) — That means Tobie marries a blue-bloooded can- 
nibal peeress ! Man, imagine a cavalier of Charles I. and a Dela- 
ware squaw as ancestors of ours! Get me an authenticated pedi- 
gree, Bartholomew, or I faint! 

Von D. [to Sher.) — 'Tis well. We prefer no charge. 

Robl. (buckling on sword) — On those conditions,, for the 
safety of all concerned. — 1 leave him to you, gentlemen, (exit 
R.) * 

Von D. — Huxley, wilt release thy man and lend thy guard? 

Huxl. — I'm satisfied, (to Low.) Your heroic regalia — un- 
less you'd run the gauntlet on Chestnut street, (handing him 
cloak, peruke and bonnet. Shouting grows loud again. Low hes- 
itates, looks about in terror, hastily dons disguise, turns to Von 
D. with sneer.) 

Low. — Quaker — citizen — republican, hath Congress paid 
ihcp. for thy fifty head of cattle and thy ships? For the last 
time on earth 1 fondly thou and thee, thee, and thine. Yea, ver- 
ily ! Adieu ! 

Von D. (turning away) — God pity thee. 

Cut p. — As from a cobbler of their hides, my respects to the 
Kangaroos ! 

Huxl. — Citizen guard, forward march ! (Citizens point, pis- 
tols at Low.'s ears, each picks up hem of his cloak, and ex( unt 
following sheriff.) 



Culp. — Weil. Friend Von Dorn, now that the Captain has 
returned with honor and the rank of Colonel, I predict another 
wedding beneath these elms. 

Von D. — Prithee abandon that thought. Besides the word 
of British officers, this note, found among Robert's effects; a 
secret confession to a friend, to the murder of Captain Robert 
Pane of the British army. 

Culp. (taking note) — Ha, ha! The last card up the sleeve 
of juggler Tobie. Yet, Huxley, we've forged as well, for a. bet- 
ter cause, (hands note to Huxl.) 

Huxl. — As Lowerman's quondam associate, do you recog- 
nize this tell-tale trick of his pen ? 

Von D. — You're right. Why did I overlook it?' 

Huxl. — I myself saw the murder of the English officer by; 
a gang of cut-throats and have within call two fellow witnesses. 

Von D. — Colonel Paul's vindication will be most gratifying 
to me. Come, we discuss this matter indoors. Ye will miss our 
former splendor. Tis true, the war hath nigh bankrupted me, 
and I may need avail myself of Dr. Franklin's advice: "He 
that by the plow would thrive, himself must either hold or 
drive. ' ' 

Culp. (promptly) — I respond: ''A plowman on his legs is 
higher than a gentleman on his knees." Friend Von Dorn, I 
refuse to be outdone at quoting Bon Homme Richard! 

(Exeunt to right wing of house. Music and shouting with- 
out. Enter 11. F. Fledermaus in bugler's uniform and. carry- 
ing a furled flag. Staff 1 1 enters hurriedly from L. bearing sack 
of flour, and collides with Fled, on lawn.) 

Fled. — Hercooless, Anton, vat 'si der drouble! 

Stof. — Ah, Jokel! — Vere's your colonel, Colonel Paul? — Der 
whole town is hollalooing for him. 

Fled. — He's in der Oonided Shtates, getting a shafe oont 
must not be disturped. — Say, Anton, vere voss you in der pattle 
of der Cowpens oont der investigation of Yorktown? I didn't 
saw you ? Gift' you a discount of yourself. 

Stof. — T voss in der pattle of der cowpens, pigspens oont 
sixpence out on mine farm, Jokel, Didn't your gvartermaster 
told you about mine sausages" 

Fled. — Aha ! So, so ! — Sapperment, vere voult be der lip- 
perty of diss republic mitout dose sausages! You voss honor- 
ably discharged? — Say, Anton. 

■Stof.— Yah, veil ? 

Fled. — I heremit appoint you commissary cheneral to der 
new bantmaster in Philadelphee — dot's me, Jokel Fledermaus! 
Oont mine Frau — veil, goot-pye Anton! 

Stof. — I vish you der same, Jokel! 

(Exit Stof. bearing flour to rear of house.) 



59 

Fled. — Dot Gvaker's daughter, Hester, blays aber peautiful 
on der shpinnet. — Obligato! (Follows softly on Jus bugle. 
Music pauses several times, then stops. Enter from corridor 
Hester and Lis tie.) 

Hest. — Here's the mocking-bird. It's friend Fledermaus, 
back from the war. Bugler, thou art ever heard before thou art 
seen. 

Fled. — I voss better soundings den lookings! Exoose mine 
audacity in interruptioning you chentle lady, but. I voss under 
commando from Colonel Paul, as hiss special color-bearer, to pring 
you diss (saluting and presenting flag.) 

Hest. — Thanks, hut where 's the Colonel? 

Fled. — He vill call ven it pleases your ladyship. 

Hest . — Said he ladyship ? — Tell him Hester will see Robert 
at his own pleasure (unfurls flag , which is tattered and stained.) 
Look Listie! Do thou take it, (turns away to hide her emo- 
tions.) 

Fled, (wiping eyes with tassle suspended from bugle) — 
Fife color-bearers vat carried it, fell deat. It's in bad shape, 
but ven house-cleaning iss ofer, perhaps tou canniest fix it up a 
little bit, 

List. — Thanks, but Hester will permit no fixing on that 
banner. 

Fled. — Veil, exoose me, ladies. I vill took der message. 
(exit.) 

List. — I beg thee again, Hester: art not going to see the 
troops ? 

Hest. — Nay, Listie, have I not an appointment here ? 

(Enter Nina.) 

Nina (apart, chuckling) — I declah, dot 'ere yaller dude, 
Tom Jackson, done su' wonk his eye at me! De fust insinuation 
o' luck from dot 'ere wooden leg! — Mistiss Listie, dot sojer done 
fotch hisself back in yo' umifo'm, an' he done got de cap'n 
stripes on it. 

List, (planting banner in flower-bed) — Hurrah! Come 
along, Nina. I go to town with thee. (Exeunt List, and Nina.) 

Hest. (dropping into settee and looking pensively at ban- 
ner) — He hath fulfilled every hope, and redeemed every pledge. 
At last this harbinger of happiness ! 

(Enter, R., Robert Paul, as before in Colonel's uniform.) 

Robt. — Hester ! 

Hest. — Friend Robert ! What joy to see thee home again ! 

Robt. — And to hear you say it after these anxious years! 

Hest. — The citizens had a special welcome prepared for thee, 
our hero. Thou wert not there? Have I kept thee from thy 
triumph ? 

Robt. — No, Hester, there was work to do. We enter not as 



60 

Roman conquerors but as victorious citizens of a republic, await- 
ing the blessings of freemen : love and borne. A tig for paeans and 
military parades, when all through this campaign, from Stony 
Point to the last trench at Yorktown I 've nigh despaired of this 
happy moment, alone with you again ! 

Best. — Thou hast sent me the most eloquent message in all 
the world {pointing to banner.) 

Robt. — Your banner! — My men and I have tried to deserve 
it. 

Best. — And how you have deserved it, Robert! 

Robt. — Hester, at Bethlehem hospital, before my removal to 
headquarters, you prevented my exchange and claimed me your 
prisoner. Now wilL you keep roe so, happily, without parole or 
exchange, for all time! 

Best, (bantering) — Am I of proper rank, sir, to deeide the 
fate of a Colonel? I'm but a non-combatant Quaker maid! 

Robt. (likewise) — And poor I have resigned my commis- 
sion! 

Best. — But not surrendered thy sword. 

Robt. — Why 'tis good enough to keep! (drawing sword.) 
General Washington had it in custody while I was a spy and 
branded a deserter. 

Best. — Robert, forgive — 

Robt. (kindhf) — Hush, hush! — Since then the good sword 
has been part of me. You remember the paradoxical inscrip- 
tion: "Peace be with you." Through grandmother's method, 
for want of a better, we're now at peace with all nations. Yes, 
Hester, now most gladly I surrender the weapon even to a non- 
combatant and agree not to draw it again without her command! 
'Tis a great trust. Will you accept? (kisses sword fervently and 
hands it to her.) 

Best, (taking it and saluting it likewise) — I do, but may 
return it. While tyrants live, the infant republic, before she 
becomes invincible, may be in need of armed men like thee. 

Robt. — And such women as you ! 

Best. — Pledge for pledge, Robert: this for my banner, 
(hands him golden locket.) From the day thou didst send me 
this flower, it has always been with me — for in all the world thou 
hast ever been the only one! 

Robt. (gazing at locket, then at Hester.) — The mignonette! 
(folds her in Ids arms.) 

(Enter from house Von Dorn, Gulpeper and Huxley. — Re- 
port of gun heard.) 

Bud. (to Von D.)— The signal! The Maid of the Indies 
weighs anchor for England, with Lowerman a prisoner aboard. 

Von D. — 'Tis well. — Ah, here's the Colonel. — My hand, 
friend Robert. 1 have thy pardon to ask for many reasons, but 



61 

may sum up by saying,: thou hast weathered this war with a 
splendid record. I shall atone for ray distrust of thee. 

Eobt. — Were there anything to atone for, sir, I would say 
there's but. one way: permit Hester to become my wife! 

Von D. — Ho, ho, a. heavy penalty! Is't not so, Hester? My 
lands have dwindled somewhat, and I've less need of a surveyor 
than before! 

Robt. — [ shall desert to my father's estate in Virginia and 
my new appointment as government surveyor in the British con- 
cessions! Huxlev and Culpeper, I must have vou both on my 
staff. 

Huxl. — If your brand of tobacco is the same as before the 
war! 

Culp. — Ditto as to the snuff, Bobbie! 

Robt. — A bargain! 

Hest. — And I, father, I've captured a sword {saluting with 
it.) May I go with Robert as guard against wolves? 

Von D. — There are less wolves than have been. Go thou 
with him, my child, pacify him. and God's blessing to you both! 

(Enter noisily, Listie, Hither, Hope, Speer, Nancy, Fleder- 
maus, Stoffcl, Nina and others.) 

Gulp, (grasping Speer by hand) — All hail, neighbor Speer, 
the Quaker, who once had dovetailed us peacefully and amicably 
to England, but who lately propoundeth his pacific doctrine with 
pounding tenpounders, in Quaker guns of brass instead of bass! 
(to Huxl.) Pardon the pun! (Huxl. quietly smokes his pipe.) 

Speer. — Yea, verily, neighbor, 'twas a noisy and destructive 
argument, but some day will the wooden guns suffice! 

List, (on Hubcr's arm) — Uncle Von Dorn, Hester would 
have had me wed a fat corporal as tall as half a cheese! Behold 
my six foot captain in my own handywork ! 

Nina — An' it do fit him bettah roun' de waist an' knees den 
dis heah chil '. ! 

Hest. — Listie, I'm glad you found so splendid a model! 
(caressing her.) 

Von D. — I wish thee all thy name indicates, Felicity ! 

List. — Thanks, Uncle. He saw the uniform by accident 
and begged me — on his knees, if I remember — to let him wear 
it to the war ! 

Hub. — Happy to wear my mistress' livery! and what luck 
it received not as nianv bullets as the flag Mistress Hester gave 
Colonel Paul! 

Robt. (pointing to banner) — 'Twas a lucky bullet that 
pierced both flag and me that night before. Valley Forge. (To 
Heat.) I shall always thank his Majesty for it! 

Fled. — Exoose me, ladies oout teitisens; iss diss der final 



62 

finish of der var? 

Nan. — Unless you change your opinion about that after our 
redding day, Jokel ! 

Robt. — Bravely said, Major Nancy! (saluting.) What say 
you to that, my dear old echo ? ( to Fled. ) 

Fled. — I say, Colonel, vateffer happens, I vill neffer sound 
der retreat oont crawfish from der center of der front of der bat- 
talion backyards. Iff peace oont lipperty iss initout Nency, giff 
me var ! In der vords of her landsmami, Pat Henry : Iff dot 
be treason, vat you going to do about it ? 

Robt. — Indorse it, Jokel! It's the only war worth shouting 
for. But here's hoping none of us will ever get beyond the skir- 
misb-line ! 

End. 



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